How long is a piece of string? It can be as long or as short as you want it to be.

The crying at the drop of a hat, several times a day.....boy! I thought it would never end. I thought "how could I possibly feel better about what happened?"
But it did get better, slowly, and depending on your personality...your values...your feelings about it all and how you approach your recovery from it all, you will get through this. It's a situation we mostly go through alone because, well I do anyway, because nobody seems to want to talk about it/ask how I am etc.
I left A after 38 years. With big change comes new possibility. Am I sometimes sad and a bit scared of where I am in my life, who I am and where I belong? Hell yes, but I'm taking it slow...one day at a time.
Your granddaughter must be a delight to have with you

If any of the things that remind you of him are small enough
to throw away or big enough to give away or sell....do it.

Elle
 

Maybe not only rearrange the rooms but also change the colors to ones that make you feel good? Give the granddaughter a room of her own and personalize it to give her a "center" in case she feels tossed about by the changes?

Tigger,

".. I’m tied of crying and want to move on. .."

For me I cried less and less each day.   Certainly the day she moved out I bawled (but it was also like a weight of bricks being lifted off my chest.. that do mainly to how abusive she was during the divorce).   I think  the pain and crying is normal and proves we are empathetic, feeling, normal people.     I can count on half a hand the times if any I saw my GX cry..didnt realize it at the time but now I can look back and see
(like that movie the sixth sense) that this was not normal.

Does the pain  go away fully..   I think it gets reduced to a tolerable and small amount.   At some point I declared I want to move on... that is was safe to move on.

An e-hug on your courageous  new journey.

Tigger, I'm a hippy, I still am, love to grow food, cooking, gardening, make clay pots and fond of my chickens.  Way back then, when I was a teenager amongst the music and the dancing there was a book called Be Here Now by Baba Ram Das on all the coffee tables along with the joints, the incense, pretty stones and candles.  

It sounds like such a good idea, doesn't it.  The irony is how neatly it disenfranchises you from managing your own present.  In my early 40's I stopped meditating and I remember Promising myself that I would let myself think about the past and the future as much as I wanted.

If I hadn't done that, if I hadn't stopped jamming my brain from building a grounded picture that has a past and a future I don't know if I'd ever have got away from that marriage.

 When I discovered my ex (together 37 years) was gay my first thought was this is my get out of jail free card, but I didn't think of getting away, I still loved him.  When I realised he was going to keep lying to my face I took a step back and watched him.  The point where I realised he expected me to care for him and look after him and do what he wanted me to the same as ever, something happened - it was a distinct feeling, like the last coin rolling out of the piggy bank he had used up my love.  I didn't love him any more.

It took 18 months to get a divorce but when I finally moved here my bursts of tears over our marriage were me feeling sorry for me, not missing him.

edited to add having enjoyment in the present is great, Blackie, glad to hear things are going well for you.

Last edited by lily (February 6, 2024 6:30 pm)

I logged on today after not being on for several days and was surprised at the number of responses. I love hearing from all of you. We have never met one another but have a common bond, and reading each and every one of your responses is a breath of fresh air. Thank you!