OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / I'm putting forward a request to change the name of this board

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** December 9, 2022 6:03 pm

The word MOM is used on other sites to reflect the fluffy-ducks-happy people in mixed orientation r'ships who only wish to pass on their advice so others can be as happy as them.
But I've noted that very few of them post anymore, no doubt because we aren't as welcoming and inclusive as they'd like. So a namechange may be refreshing and entice more straightspouses to post here

I've noticed a few more struggling with indecision and needing to talk it out with others still caught in their r'ships who now feel they can post here but some may be put off by the finality and decisiveness of the word MOM

I am in a mixed orientation r'ship. Can't ever recall myself calling it a MOM, the acronym actually makes my lip curl and I'm not a fluffy-duck-happy person. I just want to be able to talk to others like me who are stuck in their r'ships and give hope and comfort as we navigate the Mindfuck, and I believe a change of title is needed

I wanted this space, wanted it for straightspouses, not their LGBTQ++++ but the acronym was added without any discussion and back then I felt like I was already perceived as a troublemaker so kept quiet.

Thoughts fellow straightspouses?

Elle

Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (December 9, 2022 9:43 pm)

**Posted by Dutchman** December 10, 2022 4:35 pm

I think the MOM acronym is okay. Mixed Orientation Marriage, is accurately enough to define the situation. I suppose most people will understand what it stands for. It isn't ideal, but I haven't encountered any other acronym that is more clear.

The "fluffy ducks happy" annotation you suggest isn't at all obvious to me. So this may be a personal thing/impression of you?
Then again, some people create a disturbed watered down image of a relation, that should pass as marriage, of which I wonder why it's called marriage at all. So, if that's what you mean?

Last edited by Dutchman (December 10, 2022 4:57 pm)

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** December 10, 2022 9:58 pm

Dutchman wrote:

Yes I know you think it's okay. You're posting here because of the word MOM. But this is a site for straightspouses not lesbians, homosexuals and the like. I think by all means have your own MOM thread and post nowhere else (like Sean's thread) if you must be here but I still think we, the straightspouses... deserve the name of the thread to more reflect the space most of us are in... One of anger, confusion and needing the support of others in the same space

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** December 10, 2022 10:11 pm

True wrote:
I think a name change is good. I didn’t think I fit the criteria to post here the name threw me off. After reading your refreshed version It feels perfect.

SS & struggling,

Thank Ù.

True 😊 thank you for your comment. It's often difficult to know where exactly one belongs.
After initiating this Board and after working through what had happened in my r'ship,
and deciding I did in fact no longer want to work on us as a couple but rather me as an individual, I stopped posting here as much. However I think there are straights out there who are apprehensive to post on the main boards, where everyone seems to have their minds made up but don't feel they should post here either

Elle

**Posted by Dutchman** December 12, 2022 9:30 am

Ellexoh_nz wrote:

Yes I know you think it's okay. You're posting here because of the word MOM. But this is a site for straightspouses not lesbians, homosexuals and the like. I think by all means have your own MOM thread and post nowhere else (like Sean's thread) if you must be here but I still think we, the straightspouses... deserve the name of the thread to more reflect the space most of us are in... One of anger, confusion and needing the support of others in the same space

I think you're indeed somewhat confused, for I am a straight spouse. I write to support other straight spouses that hope to make their MOM succesful and are willing to work on it. I don't understand why that is bothering you.
.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** December 12, 2022 1:36 pm

Dutchman wrote:
....I think you're indeed somewhat confused,.....

I'm not confused at all.

We have a Forum here, for straightspouses, and yes you belong here, but in my opinion your LGBTQ wife doesn't.

I would like the MOM and Strategies removed from the title. Neither reflect the angst and struggle many straightspouses feel because many don't even know what side is up. This board doesn't even need an acronym just a title that echoes where we are in our journey, not where people who are in a MOM think we should be

**Posted by Dutchman** December 15, 2022 9:53 am

"True" wrote:
This MOM forum doesn’t fit my situation at all.

I think the "Support section" fits your needs and situation better.

**Posted by CMaree23** February 5, 2023 12:13 am

Since this section doesn't apply to you why come to it? Why request a name change just because you don't like it when MOR/MOM are pretty well known acronyms for our situations?

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** February 5, 2023 11:42 am

Well, CMaree, it's not surprising she has a stake in the name, as she is the one who requested this section be created in the first place.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** February 5, 2023 12:32 pm

CMaree23 wrote:
Since this section doesn't apply to you why come to it? Why request a name change just because you don't like it when MOR/MOM are pretty well known acronyms for our situations?

I made the mistake of not voicing my thoughts on the name of this board way back when I was successful at persuading Admin to let the straightspouses.... who were living the Mindfuck and didn't need the judgement of straightspouses who were intent on leaving their bisexual/gay SOs... have somewhere to post.

There's a fine line between straightspouses who are okay with their SOs being gay/bisexual/gay in denial...and those who aren't but I always thought this board should be for straightspouses who were deciding where they belonged. Not straightspouses who had already decided and wanted to wave flags and tell us how great their life is.

If I could go back and intervene when the member/Admin decided that "Strategies for MOMS" was the appropriate name for this board I would.
As that is impossible, and realising the name of the board is now probably in keeping with the changes that happened to SSN..all I can do is voice my opinion.
As you are entitled to voice yours

E