OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
* As a peer-to-peer network, any advice given is that of a peer, based on personal experience, and should not be considered professional in nature.
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
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- Ellexoh_nz
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I'm putting forward a request to change the name of this board
The word MOM is used on other sites to reflect the fluffy-ducks-happy people in mixed orientation r'ships who only wish to pass on their advice so others can be as happy as them.
But I've noted that very few of them post anymore, no doubt because we aren't as welcoming and inclusive as they'd like. So a namechange may be refreshing and entice more straightspouses to post here
I've noticed a few more struggling with indecision and needing to talk it out with others still caught in their r'ships who now feel they can post here but some may be put off by the finality and decisiveness of the word MOM
I am in a mixed orientation r'ship. Can't ever recall myself calling it a MOM, the acronym actually makes my lip curl and I'm not a fluffy-duck-happy person. I just want to be able to talk to others like me who are stuck in their r'ships and give hope and comfort as we navigate the Mindfuck, and I believe a change of title is needed
I wanted this space, wanted it for straightspouses, not their LGBTQ++++ but the acronym was added without any discussion and back then I felt like I was already perceived as a troublemaker so kept quiet.
Thoughts fellow straightspouses?
Elle
Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (December 9, 2022 9:43 pm)
KIA KAHA
- True
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Re: I'm putting forward a request to change the name of this board
I think a name change is good. I didn’t think I fit the criteria to post here the name threw me off. After reading your refreshed version It feels perfect.
SS & struggling,
Thank Ù.
Last edited by True (December 10, 2022 1:04 pm)
"There is nothing more deceptive than the obvious truth"
True ❤️.
- Dutchman
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Re: I'm putting forward a request to change the name of this board
I think the MOM acronym is okay. Mixed Orientation Marriage, is accurately enough to define the situation. I suppose most people will understand what it stands for. It isn't ideal, but I haven't encountered any other acronym that is more clear.
The "fluffy ducks happy" annotation you suggest isn't at all obvious to me. So this may be a personal thing/impression of you?
Then again, some people create a disturbed watered down image of a relation, that should pass as marriage, of which I wonder why it's called marriage at all. So, if that's what you mean?
Last edited by Dutchman (December 10, 2022 4:57 pm)
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: I'm putting forward a request to change the name of this board
Dutchman wrote:
Yes I know you think it's okay. You're posting here because of the word MOM. But this is a site for straightspouses not lesbians, homosexuals and the like. I think by all means have your own MOM thread and post nowhere else (like Sean's thread) if you must be here but I still think we, the straightspouses... deserve the name of the thread to more reflect the space most of us are in... One of anger, confusion and needing the support of others in the same space
KIA KAHA
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Thread Starter- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: I'm putting forward a request to change the name of this board
I think a name change is good. I didn’t think I fit the criteria to post here the name threw me off. After reading your refreshed version It feels perfect.
SS & struggling,
Thank Ù.
True 😊 thank you for your comment. It's often difficult to know where exactly one belongs.
After initiating this Board and after working through what had happened in my r'ship,
and deciding I did in fact no longer want to work on us as a couple but rather me as an individual, I stopped posting here as much. However I think there are straights out there who are apprehensive to post on the main boards, where everyone seems to have their minds made up but don't feel they should post here either
Elle
KIA KAHA
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Thread Starter- Dutchman
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Re: I'm putting forward a request to change the name of this board
Yes I know you think it's okay. You're posting here because of the word MOM. But this is a site for straightspouses not lesbians, homosexuals and the like. I think by all means have your own MOM thread and post nowhere else (like Sean's thread) if you must be here but I still think we, the straightspouses... deserve the name of the thread to more reflect the space most of us are in... One of anger, confusion and needing the support of others in the same space
I think you're indeed somewhat confused, for I am a straight spouse. I write to support other straight spouses that hope to make their MOM succesful and are willing to work on it. I don't understand why that is bothering you.
.
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: I'm putting forward a request to change the name of this board
....I think you're indeed somewhat confused,.....
I'm not confused at all.
We have a Forum here, for straightspouses, and yes you belong here, but in my opinion your LGBTQ wife doesn't.
I would like the MOM and Strategies removed from the title. Neither reflect the angst and struggle many straightspouses feel because many don't even know what side is up. This board doesn't even need an acronym just a title that echoes where we are in our journey, not where people who are in a MOM think we should be
KIA KAHA
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Thread Starter- True
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Re: I'm putting forward a request to change the name of this board
I’m a SS & ITCGH: My ITCGH has chosen over the years to keep his life long secret, never exposing his real truth, not to me or anyone outside his double life hookups.
This MOM forum doesn’t fit my situation at all. At least not now’ probably never could I come to acceptance my spouse sleeping with other Men, even if he did come out’ which hell would freeze over first.
I’ve re-read the rules & guidelines & clearly this forum is for Mixed Orientations Marriages. ℹ Copy & paste guidelines below.
Before closing I’d like to say It would be nice for us Str8 spouses to have a forum that the main focus is
The Heartache’ Trauma’ Struggles, we Str8 spouses endured! trying to make sense of it all! as we share learning to work through them.
Admin Phoenix. Guidelines Below
This forum is for those who have chosen to remain committed to their marriage after finding out there spouse has a same-sex-attraction. If this does not apply to you please refrain from posting here.
-Discussions should focus on strategies to help the straight spouse overcome the challenges of this new relationship dynamic.
-Any advice given must be constructive toward the goal of a successful Mixed Orientation Marriage.
-While this section focuses on positive strategies, we do recommend that you also read and participate in the other sections. You will get a larger spectrum of responses in the General Discussion and Support areas. The shared wisdom of those who have tried and do not recommend MOM's may be helpful to you now or in the future. While not always positive, that advice is given out of care and compassion.
Last edited by True (December 15, 2022 1:49 am)
"There is nothing more deceptive than the obvious truth"
True ❤️.
- Dutchman
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Re: I'm putting forward a request to change the name of this board
This MOM forum doesn’t fit my situation at all.
I think the "Support section" fits your needs and situation better.
- True
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Re: I'm putting forward a request to change the name of this board
@Dutchman:
General & Support Forum's are "All Incombasing" We Straight Spouse's Have " In Depth Issues" & Turn To This Form For Help' Guidence' & To Form A Community On Trust.
It would be nice if us Straight Spouse's & Supporters of this Website had our own Sub-Group forum regardless if this forum was meant to be for us straight spouses & had been changed their after.
Forum "Moderators"
Please consider creating a Sub-Group for us Straight Spouses & Supporting Members. I'd venture to guess the majority of us Straight Spouses that are lucky enough to find this Website makes up the main percentage % of members here & it would be nice to have our own Sub-Group which is much needed & deeply appreciated.
Enough pleeding my case here. Moving forward I'll post whenever the subject matter resonates with me on a personal level' regardless the "Forum Title". Truth be told " one shoe doesn't fit all "
Sincerely True. 💟
Last edited by True (February 26, 2023 1:26 pm)
"There is nothing more deceptive than the obvious truth"
True ❤️.
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