I realize my comments are better suited to the Support Board..... But ended up putting it here
Checking his phone in the hope of learning something.... Anything!... about what's going on, and learning what the terms in those texts mean to a bi/gay person can only work for a short time.
Check in with your intuition...measure it against what your husband, partner, boyfriend is doing, saying, keeping from you (in all areas of your life together, not just his phone and communication).
Once I was getting a Brazilian (because I thought it made me sexy to him BLAH) and decided to text my partner and tell him about it. I said something like "I'm all smooth for you"
He replies straight away, like the moment after I sent the text saying "I can imagine you serving customers with no pants on"
I don't work in a shop. My name isn't Dallas either.
He covered over his blunder with (I can't actually remember it was so forgettable) but I added this moment to all the other odd, painful, confusing moments of that time and when I could no longer ignore what they added up to... that he had a whole other side to him he was only willing to share with other people and that he could dismiss what we had together to pursue the unfulfilled part of himself... I knew I had to change something.
Some of these moments I confronted him with (screaming, begging but it was like throwing marshmallows at brick wall), some I just filed away in my mind but in the end what mattered was what *I* did with them.
I changed myself, how I saw my partner and my expectations of him
Elle
Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (May 1, 2022 9:09 pm)