My partner told me he is bi at the beginning of our relationship. I didn't think much of it, just that he would be fun in bed. Fast forward 10 years and 2 kids later, I believe he leans more to the other side. I've been quiet about it (aside from confiding in close friends - who tell me I'm crazy for staying with him).

Let him explore his sexuality with paraphernalia, he's accumulated quite the collection. When we get in big fights he throws it all in the garbage and says "that's not who I want to be/thats not who I am." But a few weeks later he's hundreds of dollars deep in it again.

We have a tumultuous relationship, mainly him accusing me of cheating while I find factual evidence of his own cheating on me through the years. The dating apps, the very intimate texts, the constant phone hiding. Once I tried to go on Tinder to search for him and possible other dirt bags I know. But when the app asked me for a photo I immediately got scared and closed it, it turned up in my purchased apps on my phone - he automatically accuses me of cheating on him - he thinks I cheated while I went grocery shopping during the beginning of the pandemic when everything was at minimum capacity and we had to wait outside the store for hours to get inside.

I've talked to a therapist who says it's normal for the guilty one to constantly accuse the innocent one, so they don't feel so bad about their decisions.

Anyway, my whole post is because recently I feel as if I've lost him for good. He says he wants to be here for the kids. He says he's not here for me but I know he loves me. The things he does in his private time, and the fact I know he has a better time with his collection than me, I think it's for the best I hang up my gloves. I can't keep up with this anymore and kudos to all of you who can, you're the real MVP.

I'm so glad I found this group tonight. I've been crying for days not knowing what to do. After reading some articles, I feel I've found a safe place online. I deserve my sanity back. It's not up to me to uphold his facade, to be the doting wife while he does me dirty every day. I can't do it anymore.