OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / He loves me so much he is just so confused

**Posted by Shan13** January 22, 2019 11:02 am

I’m going crazy trying to keep it together. We have been together 15 years, 3 kids and over the years I have found gay porn and buried my head in the sand! The last time it was a dick pic and selfie, so I asked who they were for and it’s for Grindr. That was my last straw. He is such a mess says he loves me and is attracted to me and all ways has been but he is just so confused and has been since a kid. I just don’t understand how he could be so attracted to me. Is it a lie. I just know he is gay and not bi. Says he loves me so much and doesn’t want to give up, but I can see he does, he is ready to explore. I’m just so confused. We are in separate rooms but are still in the same house, it’s been 4 days, I cried for 2 days straight I think... he says he is so confused because he has always loved me and it doesn’t feel wrong but he has these feelings. I’m so confused!

**Posted by Mimi** January 22, 2019 12:11 pm

Shan

I totally feel you as I’m in the same situation. Found solid evidence on him being on hookup sites, but he tells me he’s just curious.

You are going through a lot of emotions. What you are experiencing is grieve of losing a husband you knew. It’s like a death of a loved one. Cry it out if you need to. Let yourself go through the emotions. Take one step at a time. Don’t make any quick decisions. Just remember to trust your gut.

**Posted by Shan13** January 22, 2019 4:09 pm

Mimi
Thanks the reply, I don’t really get on the internet or social media, so I’m a little bit new at all this...
and oh how it feels like grief too, I think the first day I cried so much because he wouldn’t be coming home to me anymore, I’m going to be so alone, I know I have the kids but we live in a small town and we only moved here for work so no friends or family... I know in my gut he gay, I just can’t understand how he can keep saying he was attracted to me and was really in love with me and it didn’t feel wrong because that just seems like a lie... I really don’t want to become and angry person