OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Writing out my angst on Medium

**Posted by Leah** January 9, 2019 4:25 pm

I'm so grateful for the SSN and this forum. I have been writing some posts on Medium using some of the great info from here as it relates to my journey and linking it back to this resource....here is my story...

https://medium.com/@plwsheffield/a-straight-spouse-coming-out-there-is-no-party-683bb97183d0

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** January 9, 2019 4:38 pm

Leah. That was SO good.

Congrats on walking and talking your straight line

**Posted by Scrupulous** January 9, 2019 5:55 pm

Beautiful story and very well written. If this is any consolation to you, here goes:
1. Your ex is a piece of shit. I don't know how to put it any milder or harsher.
2. He avoids you because he's embarrassed because he knows he's a piece of shit.
3. 'The new woman understands him...' Did she actually say that? If so is she deranged or a closet case herself who also happens to be a desparate woman in need of a male maid service?
4. While you are sitting here writing your life out and healing in a slow gradual manner...
she, the new super woman, is dealing with his piece of shitness. Chances are he's out cottaging somewhere at the local toilette while she's busting her ass to support his loser ass.

Count your blessings sweetie! Your doing great because your loss is also your biggest gain! You got your life back that you forgot that you had. Would you really be willing to live that constant lack of trust and sick feeling everytime he moved the wrong way? I get that three jobs is hard as hell and not fair....but at least when you go to work you know where you are going and what you get in return. He stole 27 years of your life. You should be compensated.
But you are to be congradulated for your strength of going through this and not giving in. Stay focused on you and your accomplishments. He and his 'desparado' are going nowhere but to hell in a designer handbag.
(Figure of speech lol...but it's nice to imagine taking your Prada and beating them down with it. Except I wouldn't do that to my bag. )
xoxox

**Posted by Estella Oculus** January 9, 2019 7:40 pm

A great piece--thanks so much for linking to it here. I find I am totally obsessed with reading and listening to other straight spouse stories these days. So glad to be able to hear more about your journey. Also, bravo with being more public about your status as a straight spouse!

**Posted by phoenix** January 9, 2019 8:07 pm

So amazing!!!! That took courage and I bet it was raw and hard to write. But it was amazing. Good for you! Thank you so much for sharing!

**Posted by ThisSeason** January 9, 2019 8:26 pm

Very cool Leah.
I love the thought that people will see that article, people who may not have yet found a support system like this forum, and see that they are not alone.

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** January 9, 2019 8:28 pm

Thanks for the link, Leah. I know it took a deep breath and courage to write that, and I, for one, also applaud you for refusing to conform to your ex's continued closeted life. I had to wonder, though, if the woman's he's married really knows, or whether he's just told you she knows, because it just seems weird to me that he's so easily and quickly find a woman and be willing to tell her what he kept secret so very long.

**Posted by lily** January 9, 2019 9:13 pm

just want to add likewise - thanks Leah, well written, good to have the straight spouse's voice being heard.

**Posted by Rob** January 10, 2019 1:20 pm

Well written story Leah.

But I would argue it does not have to be your final story.. I'm not saying we can ever forget the hurt and feelings of TGT.. it happened and we love and feel. .. Just that I refuse, I dissent, that will l will live rest of my life where I introduce myself and say "Hi, I'm Rob and my wife left me for a woman." Its not who I am.. its not who we are.. we are so much more ..we are beyond the comprehension of these loser spouses and ex spouses that had no problem hurting their best friends. I thank God for getting me away from such a horrible and morally corrupt person.

PS: Scrupulous deserves an award and honorable mention for precisely and accurately describing these spouses.

**Posted by Leah** January 10, 2019 3:26 pm

Thanks, to everyone for the kind words of encouragement and support. @Rob Yes it is not my final story, but one I needed to get out so that it doesn't corrode my insides. I think writing is healing as you all know as we share in this space. And I think our voices are drowned out these days by all the sympathy for those whose sexual orientation is not so well tolerated. So I feel a bit out and proud. We have survived. I actually don't think my ex is a piece of shit or even morally corrupt, but he is just quite a cowardly, hypocritical, sad, very weak person who cannot take responsibility for his actions and so seeks to minimize and deflect the pain he has caused me and most certainly will cause his new wife. My anger is actually abating these days, though I do get flare-ups...