Beautiful story and very well written. If this is any consolation to you, here goes:
1. Your ex is a piece of shit. I don't know how to put it any milder or harsher.
2. He avoids you because he's embarrassed because he knows he's a piece of shit. 
3. 'The new woman understands him...' Did she actually say that? If so is she deranged or a closet case herself who also happens to be a desparate woman in need of a male maid service?
4. While you are sitting here writing your life out and healing in a slow gradual manner...
she, the new super woman, is dealing with his piece of shitness. Chances are he's out cottaging somewhere at the local toilette while she's busting her ass to support his loser ass.

Count your blessings sweetie! Your doing great because your loss is also your biggest gain! You got your life back that you forgot that you had. Would you really be willing to live that constant lack of trust and sick feeling everytime he moved the wrong way? I get that three jobs is hard as hell and not fair....but at least when you go to work you know where you are going and what you get in return. He stole 27 years of your life. You should be compensated. 
But you are to be congradulated for your strength of going through this and not giving in. Stay focused on you and your accomplishments. He and his 'desparado' are going nowhere but to hell in a designer handbag.
(Figure of speech lol...but it's nice to imagine taking your Prada and beating them down with it. Except I wouldn't do that to my bag. )
xoxox 

So amazing!!!!    That took courage and I bet it was raw and hard to write.  But it was amazing.  Good for you!  Thank you so much for sharing!

Thanks for the link, Leah.  I know it took a deep breath and courage to write that, and I, for one, also applaud you for refusing to conform to your ex's continued closeted life.  I had to wonder, though, if the woman's he's married really knows, or whether he's just told you she knows, because it just seems weird to me that he's so easily and quickly find a woman and be willing to tell her what he kept secret so very long.

Well written story Leah.

But I would argue it does not have to be your final story..   I'm not saying we can ever forget the hurt and feelings of TGT..   it happened and we love and feel.   ..  Just that I refuse,   I dissent,  that will l will live rest of my life where I introduce myself and say  "Hi, I'm Rob and my wife left me for a woman."    Its not who I am.. its not who we are..  we are so much more ..we are beyond the comprehension of these loser  spouses and ex spouses that had no problem hurting their best friends.      I thank God for getting me away from such a horrible and morally corrupt person.     

PS:  Scrupulous deserves an award and honorable mention for precisely and accurately describing these spouses.