OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Just Curious.......

**Posted by Demons-halo** April 7, 2018 5:06 pm

Ok so a friend of mine has been trying to get me to post on dating sites to see what hits I get to try to boost my in the gutter self esteem. She keeps telling me I'm hot and would be surprised by the responses. I don't want to lead anybody on or drag anyone else into this mess.
I'm just really unsure about it after everything the wife put me through. But it might be a good first step. So just curious if anyone else has done this? Did it help?

Last edited by Demons-halo (April 7, 2018 5:10 pm)

**Posted by Duped** April 7, 2018 5:40 pm

I did it. The online matches were an ego boost. After my first date I called my ex, on another date I told him everything and cried in a bar (the date was very kind about it all and we are still text buddies, he’s kind and helps me out when I’m stuck sometimes - I just don’t want to date him or lead him on) then I had a couple of dates where I was ok after, nothing came of them but that’s fine.

A year and a quarter on I think I could date and actually want a connection rather than an ego boost or to just test myself. I still hate dating but the idea of meeting someone with potential is exciting. I think that’s progress and I can measure it against those awful early experiences.

I don’t think there’s any right or wrong as long as you don’t lead anyone on, some will be in the same position as you - testing the waters.

**Posted by Demons-halo** April 7, 2018 5:59 pm

When I look at it as ok I will do it to boost my self esteem. I also see it as ok here is this other person who is probably testing the water but also they could be looking for something real. I dont know if I am ready for that just yet. Plus I am still married to my wife. Even if SHE only sees it as a piece of paper. Sigh it's frustrating. But I would love to start feeling better about myself to. Thank for replying duped.

**Posted by Lynne** April 7, 2018 6:01 pm

delete

Last edited by Lynne (February 3, 2019 1:45 pm)

**Posted by lily** April 7, 2018 7:16 pm

I haven't done it. And I've been out for over 4 years including my 60th birthday.

I've just followed my nose. I look more attractive, I dress better, I um I guess I flirt better, I move better and I talk better with men.

I've done my best to face up to the shock and horror of losing my youthful beauty while I slept.

**Posted by Demons-halo** April 10, 2018 2:52 pm

Thanks ladies for responding.
Still don't know if I'm going to do it or not. But, I know something has to change. My wife lately has been going on about how HER life is so unfair. It takes every ounce of control I have not to go off on her. It goes well beyond anger that I feel. I remember all the things I did for her ( which in the grand scheme wasn't fair to me. Justified it as good for my family. ) but it made her happy so I did it. But knowing what I do know and hearing her whine about how her life is unfair. It's like a kick in the gut when you are already down. Pure selfishness just because I am still there to do the heavy lifting and things that she doesn't want to.