I know what you're saying. I still have to get through mediation and actually work with her to deal with this stuff. "She has to learn to deal with it" sounds nice, but she's not. She blamed me for our split because she can't handle the responsibility. She blames the church, her family, society and somehow, ME for her situation but won't own what's she's done to me. Regardless of what's just I have to deal with reality. It'll be her job to deal with her issues when a divorce decree is granted. I do care about her and want the best for her, but that isn't in play here. This is strictly pragmatism. Limiting conflict helps everyone.