Maya wrote:

I thought of divorce but it would be very painful for our kids, since we have friends who went through divorce and actually had the older kids attempted suicide . My husband came from conservative Catholic with no divorce in the family. His family doesn’t know about this .

This is all new to you, so it isn’t something you have to figure out right away . Take time to get your head together, and to also figure out exactly what your husband is going to do or not...

Talk a lot! that’s important. Hopefully, he’ll be open to talking to you.

Maya — As Susanne said, you don't have to make any big decisions today...but you should start building your support network. Many here have felt tremendous relief just talking to someone they trust. Someone else suggested journaling, which I think is a great idea.

Divorce is painful...but I am quite certain it pales in comparison to the pain of being cheated on and having your physical/mental health compromised by someone you love. Kids are tremendously resilient...I know I wouldn't want my own mother (or my daughter) to suffer through this kind of pain. Your happiness is important, too (for you & your children).