Hello everyone,
I hope you are all well. My periods of anxiety over all this continue to get further and further between, but sometimes I wonder if I’ll have the anxiety on some level forever. A terrifying thought. I’ve heard people say pay attention to the actions of your spouse and not the words. So, so true. My husband isn’t big on saying the reaffirming things I’d need him to say as often as I’d need him to say them and really would I believe those words if he said them to me 1,000 times anyway? No, probably not. My husband’s actions are showing me he is in this 100%, but I’m still doubtful at times when the thoughts of how this was all revealed come back into my mind. He was miserably depressed for a couple months before I got an answer from him as to what was going on. I recently asked him why he was so miserably depressed. I had never seen him like this. He said he was very scared about how all this would eventually play out. He said he thought if he confirmed he’s bi i’d immediately kick him out (almost 30 years monogamous and 4 kids... etc). I told him I didn’t care about him being bi. I’ve always known on some level anyway. Anyway... we’re still going along. We’ve built a wonderful life together and we don’t want to throw it all away over him accepting he’s bi finally. I wanted to add, we’ve occasionally discussed divorce in the abstract and agree that it would make things worse for us both individually. I do appreciate that he says that since he was the one who threw the monkey wrench into our relationship he’d completely understand if I decided to walk, but that would not be his choice.
Thanks for listening.
Tangled
