Hi, no you're not wrong for being furious but I don't know that trying to keep a lid on it will work.    

SS you are in a lot of pain and being kept in the marriage while he escalates his feminisation.  This has a big effect on your self esteem.  but it bounces back - at your weakest is when you have to be at your strongest.  Don't waste your anger on being upset with him, it is water off a duck's back - use it for yourself.  I think that's the best way to help your daughter.