OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / I think my husband is gay need advice please

**Posted by Renea77** February 12, 2017 4:55 pm

Thank you, Lostdad. Yes, that was my question. I was looking for an opinion on that issue. It was just something left unresolved in my head that I want some sort of resolution on.

**Posted by Rob** February 12, 2017 6:47 pm

Bless you Renea,

Ditto what lostdad said.. A guy would never get into a bed with another guy..its in our DNA...

My ex is Gay.. I don't think she advertises it or wants people to know save for some friends that are now no longer my friends. I dont think , to this day , she told her parents or the kids. My one kid guessed it or , at least, knows her girlfriend is the cause of all the trouble..
Whenever I doubt if it really happened all I have to do is refer back to the stuff I found. I knew beyond a shadow of doubt.. no question about it.,.

And you know what Renea, knowing she was gay did not help me one bit.. It couldn't save the marriage..in fact it made everything worst. It made me think I was crazy. I don't think it resolved anything.

But enough..It is sufficient that she cheated, lied, treated me horribly, and desecrated the marriage. All our years together, helping each other through tough times, kids, etc... counted for nothing. TGT is the just icing on cake... its downright scary what a horrible person she turned into (or was).. its not like I/we
could live with someone who betrayed and was not loyal to us.

We are not crazy . That our spouses tried to make us think we were..how inhumane is that. The lying and horrible treatment of us is enough. Feel sorry for his new wife... know that you are not crazy and could not fix him... you're stronger, saner, and a better person than your ex, your kids, or the new wife will ever know. Don't for a minute second guess getting away from him...

**Posted by Renea77** February 12, 2017 9:48 pm

Thanks Rob. I think you nailed it in that it makes us feel crazy, and I just wanted to hear I'm not. The gas lighting does make me still doubt myself sometimes. My ex never ceases to amaze. I can't believe I didn't catch on until a few years ago. With sociopathy, typically you have promiscuity. I never saw that and always thought him asexual. After hearing about him moving out of state and hanging around gay men (when he used to bash them) made me look back and question some events while we were married. I can think of a few situations now where I believe he was actually cheating with men rather than women. I was so naive. Glad I'm done, but just can't believe everything he lied about and the people he uses. It is something new every day. I do feel sorry for his new wife. though up until recently, she thought I was the liar. There is a bit of relief seeing all of this come out.