Sounds like you have things well planned out.   Do what needs to be done.  While one would like to get in the car with the kids and never return life doesn't work like that. We all do whatever we need to to survive.

Last edited by Rob (August 7, 2016 2:55 pm)

I'd also suggest you seek counsel with a lawyer who is familiar with your state's laws regarding spousal assets.  Some states vary in who gets what especially IF you have joint banking accts, minor children and all the expenses assoc. with that.  I found out 2 yrs ago that my partner was frequenting CL personals M4M and while the emotional rollercoaster does surface at times(he was adamant and denies having an active relationship or "hook ups" or being gay....so I question what straight man would be on gay chats, soliciting sex with men and on gay sites.....this has been swept under the rug and never mention since the big blow out so I've been trying to pull my finances together and trying to decide my best options....unfortunately, I need help in paying the household expenses and he's not abusive and shockingly very loving in other ways so I'm not rocking the boat at this point.  I retired early thinking this was it and we could manage with our pension and small retirement funds and NEVER did I think I'd ever have to be dependent on a man given my career and salary but here I am....I hope you cover all your bases as you seem to be doing but especially in purchasing another home BEFORE divorcing this man....been there and definitely the stress you are going through...best wishes and a huge hug for being strong!

".. I continue to watch him and continue to realize that I will be leaving soon enough".

Yes, I went into that mode..I had to...she starting ignoring me completely...its like her girlfriend told her don't talk to him, don't give him the time of day.  Don't  look at him.   Only talk to the kids.    Devalue him.
Once we were divorcing she still needed to maintain her persona of superiority and my worthlessness.  
It was and still is sick but at least I am free of her now..I hope to have value as human being again.

Good luck with your plans and exit.    It will be quite hard maintaining your "indifference" while living together.  He may catch on.  Then again, your husband might like being left alone and continue his escapades thinking he's fooling you.       Continue to take care of yourself.

PS:  I can give good tips on avoiding your spouse and not even acknowledging them while living in the same house.

Amber

Where to start.  I always made it a point to be home when the kids were home.  If they were at friends I'd stay out and not go home.. if the kids needed a ride anywhere..id do it...this got me away from her and let me talk to other normal people.   
At home I made the downstairs my place with computers and tv. We just kept away from each other.  I also recommend a phone app called Flipboard. .this gives you lots of things to read and gets geared toward your interest..it gets you disinterest in your spouse. In general keep busy so you have no time to show any interest in them.
It was so bad in my house that we got to the point where we could eat dinner with kids without ever looking at or talking to each other.  We weren't even roomates..more like 2 strangers sharing a house.

Hi Ambre, I was married for 29 years to a gay/bi man.(I didn't know) I have been divorced almost 3 years now. He didn't tell me the truth about his life until I forced him into counseling. For many years, while he was in his long term affair with a gay friend of ours, he would belittle me and try to constantly turn the arguments into it all being my fault. It was his way of deflecting the blame and avoiding telling me the truth. Most of the fights were about money and his lack of business knowledge. Also around anything to do with supporting the 3 children. He resented having to pay for college etc. He also kept me around because I had a stable good paying job and could get financing for his small business. whenever we would fight, he would always draw me back in with 'I still love you.' It appears that's all I needed to hear. We almost broke up (probably every 5 years or so) and he would come crying back begging me to try again. I stayed because I wanted to keep my family together. At the time, I still had a child in high school and two in university. My point is, if I had known the truth I never would have stayed and put myself through the agony of going further into debt supporting a person who was using me as his cover and bank at the same time. I got a good accountant who helped me sort through a losing business (he told me to run and get my name off everything), I found an investment adviser who helped me with a retirement plan, I hired a great lawyer who listened to me and understood what I needed to do quickly. (I had a separation agreement in 3 mths). I found a fantastic counselor who also happened to be gay. He was able to offer me insight into the gay lifestyle and relationship patterns. He had counseled many men coming out of the closet and many Str8 (mostly women) who were faced with the exact situation as mine. These professionals can help you with a plan to go out on your own. It may take some time to find these people but it is worth it. Good luck on your decision making. Everyone has a different path to take and you will find the answers as you seek them.