Lena, 

Why does it have to be 50%?  
Have you been a stay at home mom?  If so, then they are used to being with you more and the courts will likely rule to continue that. 
Are they young?  If so you can make a case that they need your nurturing and the courts will likely give you more time. 
Is your husband unstable, irresponsible, dishonest?  If you can show the courts that you have valid concerns about his ability to provide a safe and stable home then they will give you more time. 

Instead of beginning your negotiations with the idea that it should be 50/50..  I would go in with the mindset that the kids stay with you full time and he can have every other weekend.  Let him try to negotiate from that starting point.  Don't concede 50/50. 

I made a mistake in how I approached parenting time.  I assumed that the courts usually side with the mom for more time.  I assumed that since she had a work-from-home job that the courts would side with her for more time.  I just assumed from the start that I would have an every-other-weekend schedule.  I had to work really hard to get from that point up to 50/50.  I did... and I considered that a victory.   Now I wish I would have started with an assumption of me having more time and let her try to fight me from there. 

So I have 50/50 time sharing.  
I love the time I have with my kids..  all is right with the world. 
I appreciate a few days of the days in every month without them.. it lets me get caught up on housework and projects and gives me a little time to have fun on my own.  The rest of those days without them I hate.

As time goes on I've learned that the single greatest loss from the divorce is the fact that my ex has stolen 50% of the rest of my kids childhood from me.  The years your kids are in your home are the greatest treasure life has to offer.  Those years go by so fast.. and you can't get them back.  She stole half of that from me!!!   I hate her for it. 
To make matters worse.. she is a horrible influence on my kids.  Her morals and ethics are atrocious.  They are learning to lie at will.  Lord knows what she's teaching them about religion and other things I deem to be important duties of raising my kids.  I can't do anything about it while they are out of my house. I would never allow a lesbian with a history of drugs and suicidal tendencies who cheated on her husband and got divorced to be with a married woman to be around my kids..  I would never allow it..  yet my ex has moved this horrible woman into her home with her.. and there is nothing I can do about it.  It's awful.

Lena, I'm sorry.. I usually try to find ways to comfort people here..  but in this topic I can't provide you any comfort.. only stark reality. 

You are right to fear giving up 50% of your kids lives.  That is something you should fight for..  try to make it 75/25 or better.  Just having some larger share of time at your home will help.. if nothing else your kids will consider your home their primary home and their dad will be visitation and that will make a difference in their identity. 


  
 

Kel,
They are 6 & 7.
And Phoenix, I am a working mom.
I red couple articles stating that half & half custody is the best option for children, so kids can have the same amount of time with each parent. That regardless what is happening between spouses, kids'best interest should be first and above anything, of course if the other half is a reasonable parent and shared custody is possible to manage between houses.
He is reasonable parent, and I could count on him so far regarding kids, but I question his morals, his big ego, selfishness, his needs coming first, his time off from them with no problem. He always does what he wants.
Of course he can be rough playing with them, and not as delicate like I am, but I have never feared for them because of him. We also did all those things together with our kids. I had that control. Now it is slipping away from my hands.
Obviously he was not authentic with me since he pretended to be someone else.
And that leaves questions with me. His narcistic behaviour took away his compassion. He does not see what shoes he put me in,but not just now...he was always difficult husband to get along.
I am scared of not knowing how their lives are going to look like with him. If he is going to cherish my values? I know he likes doing stuff to spite me and when I ask him to not to do something, his response is that he has different parenting opinion. But before there was no problem.
So I am happy to divorce from that side of him plus his infidelity and lies but giving up 50% with my kids is like giving up on them. But then he is their father too. It is crazy circle of thoughts for me.

Last edited by Lena (September 21, 2017 11:35 am)