A lot of jargon and acronyms get used around here which you might find confusing so here’s a quick rundown of what some of it means.
 
STRAIGHT SPOUSE… This seems like an odd phrase when you first hear it but this forum is about mixed orientation relationships (MORs) or mixed orientation marriages (MOMs) where one spouse is heterosexual (the straight spouse) and the other is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex or Queer (LGBTIQ).
 
MOR... Mixed Orientation Relationship

MOM... Mixed Orientation Marriage

TGT.... ‘The Gay Thing’.  A shorthand way of referring to what we are going through ie. having a LGBTIQ spouse or partner.

TTT.... ‘The Trans Thing’.  A shorthand way of referring to having a transexual or transgender spouse or partner.
 
LGBTIQ... Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, Queer.  You might read about the ‘LGBTIQ community’

XH / XW... Ex Husband / Ex Wife

STBX... Soon To Be Ex. A divorce (or breakup) is in progress or is intended.

GH... Gay Husband  / BH... Bi Husband  / TH... Trans Husband / GW.... Gay Wife  / LW... Lesbian Wife / TW... Trans Wife

GX... Gay Ex  / LX... Lesbian Ex  / BX... Bi Ex  / TX... Trans Ex

SO... Significant Other. Spouse or partner. .

GID... Gay In Denial. When a spouse or partner is LGBTIQ but denies it to themselves and/or to others.

TGID... Transgender In Denial.

FTM... Female to Male.

MTF... Male to Female.

TG/TS... Transgender / Transexual

CD... Cross-dresser / Cross-dressing

Acronyms are sometimes used in combination like -  STBXGIDH... Soon to be ex, Gay in denial husband. While sometimes confusing this kind of 'code' seems to be useful in quickly conveying a person's present situation. If you don't like acronyms please feel free not to use them.
 
SSA... Same Sex Attraction

STR8... Straight (heterosexual)

SSN... Straight Spouse Network

STD... Sexually Transmitted Disease

CL... Craig’s List – seems to be where some men do their cheating.
 
DL... Down Low... sex ‘on the down low’ is secret sex.

OP... Original Post or Original Poster (the person who started the thread).
 
 
A few key words and phrases used here...
 
DISTANCING – ‘Distancing’ is putting emotional and/or physical distance between you and your Ex as a means by which to protect yourself from further emotional harm.  Some common distancing strategies are seeing less of your ex; moving out; lowering your expectations; attempting to care less… doing whatever it takes to reduce emotional attachment.
 
COMPARTMENTALIZATION – A psychological defence mechanism which allows conflicting ideas to co-exist by inhibiting direct or explicit acknowledgement and interaction between separate compartmentalized states.  GID (Gay In Denial) men often ‘compartmentalize’ when they live two quite separate and distinct lives… one straight and one gay. They will barely acknowledge, and may even completely deny, that their ‘gay’ life exists.  They will often rationalize their gay activity as 'just sex' or 'purely physical'. They might still call themselves 'straight' and may not consider gay sex to be cheating. Some GID men will consciously or subconsciously take the position that it’s only possible to cheat on a woman with another woman. Men who do this sometimes believe their own lies.
 
GASLIGHTING - Named after the 1938 stage play 'Gas Light' and subsequent movies of the same name gaslighting is a form of mental abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory, perception and sanity. Instances may range simply from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim. Gaslighting might include denying that something was said, denying that something happened when there is clear evidence to the contrary, planting false or misleading information with a view to disorientate and claims that problems are imagined or ‘all in the head' of the gaslighting victim.
 
THE DIFFERENCE – A phrase coined to describe what many people experience when they have a real STRAIGHT relationship (and in particular real straight sex) for the first time or for the first time in a long time.  ‘The difference’ is being loved, desired, lusted after, appreciated and turned on... how sex was meant to be.   

Last edited by Steve (June 22, 2019 3:43 am)