I reckognize these feelings very much.. it has become more and more an issue for me..
We are still in phases of denial, and she has toned down her visible attention towards women, of course after I addressed this.

I have developed a sense of the women (I think) she likes. And they are starting to make me feel sick.. This has nothing to do with my general view on gay or LGBT.

These women has a special look in their eyes, and I see it "everywhere" too. I have seen it between her and other women, from other women towards her (and I am building an impression that she attracts other women well..), and she has confirmed this, that it can happen and I asked about some pictures of women.

My first trouble is that I am starting to resent a certain type of women. Their presence hit me in the gut sometimes..I am also aware that there can be sides to these women that also attracts me, and that "confirmes" to me that I maybe liked some of this "differentness" about my wife..

Secondly, I resent the arrogance and cynical aspects of these persons.. that "openly" checks out and sometimes flirt, "blink their eye" etc with my wife, regardless of the family next to her... as they both share this "freedom" of secrecy as "Nobody knows"..

At worst I feel sex is what is exchanged.. "if you fantasize about me, I will fantasize about you.."

These experiences are very tangible to me. And I feel I see these persons she like are a kind of cold persons. I am sorry, but I really feel this. As if theiy have through years of hiding, grown cold from their shame or whatever. Or, just her preference of personalities she find sexually attractive... that should be a decent sized "leave!" flag waving towards me, right...?