I did not discover the forum - at its previous site - until my husband came out and was in the process of leaving. I have never told him about it or tried to get him to view it: this was my safe place and I post to it now to help others who are struggling to find clarity going forward.

 

Agree with Abby and Rob, never. It was my safe place.

Furthermore, if they had an ounce of courage or compassion, we wouldn't be here in the first place.

well, Ellexoh - there you go, you've just served us up to your husband.  I think you must want to stay married real bad.  Only you're hurting real bad and you know what a lot of people do who stay married?  they take anti-depressants to cope.  I don't recommend it but if you want to stay in your marriage then taking drugs will help.

I have a feeling most of our spouses wouldn't read this forum. If they did, the very closeted would counter with either - that's not me, I'm not gay, I didn't do that or try to convince us that the rest of us "evil" people here are just trying to wreck someone else''s marriage because our own failed, not true of course. We have had a few non-straight spouses here over the years but, if I recall correctly, it was post-disclosure and after they did a lot of processing and coming to terms with their actions. Their contributions have been helpful as they are able to use their own experience to bring some clarity to the actions that some of our spouses do.

As a general reminder to everyone here, don't forget that this is a public board and anyone can read it without registering. It is also linked from the main SSN website. Never post anything too identifiable about yourself unless you're OK with that info being out there. Peace!