maresyd -

omg!  that is from a poem I hadn't heard since I was in college...20 something years ago   The short version is that I was a freshman in college and I kissed a boy.  Well, in high school that meant you were "going together".  Come to find out, college was a whole different ball game.  I was heartbroken!  My friend, who is still my best friend to this day, sent me this poem (via mail because that's what you did back then).  I could never remember the name or author but it was so moving.  It stuck with me for my entire life.  I just googled that line and found it.  I'm going to post the whole thing below.  It still applies to this day....

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn...
With every goodbye you learn.
Author: Veronica Shoffstall

Last edited by Still Wondering (July 24, 2017 3:42 pm)

These are some quotes I have on my phone and read over and over when I was in real turmoil:

When you feel overwhelmed and you're tempted to take everything into your own hands, you have to make yourself be still.  The battle is not yours.  The battle is the Lord's.

Seek God's will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.  Proverbs 3:6

Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths;  guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Psalm 25 4-5

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.  Proverbs 4:23

Because she loves me, says the Lord, I will rescue her; I will protect her, for she acknowledges my name.  Psalms 91:14

She may be quiet, but she's a warrior and her prayers can move mountains.

He will cover you with His feathers and under His wings you will find refuge.  Psalm 91:4

I will never give you more than you can take... I will let you bend, but I will never let you break.

A warrior is that woman who gets up, despite the enemy trying to destroy her.  A woman who declares victory before seeing it.  A woman who believes she will receive her miracle because she knows the Lord she serves is alive and by her side.

In order to have a healed and faithful heart, we must first allow it to break before the Lord.  Neill F Marriett.

I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.

Someday, everything will make perfect sense.  So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.

When you are in deep water, trust the One who walked on it.

With brave wings she flies.

If the words dont add up, its usually because the truth wasn't included in the equation.

Secrets and lies kill relationships.  No matter how careful you are, you will get caught. 

A real man will be honest no matter how painful the truth is.  A coward hides behind lies and deceit.

I don't want perfect, I want honest.

When love is real, it doesnt lie, cheat, pretend or keep secrets.

Love cannot make a home where lies and secrets sleep.

People say a lot.  So I watch what they do.

Being happy is a very personal thing and it really has nothing to do with anyone else.

If you have to force it, leave it.  Relationships. Friendships. yoga poses. perfect pony tails. Let that sh*t go.

 

Marc and Angel posted some stories that give us some perspective;
http://www.marcandangel.com/2017/12/17/20-true-stories-of-heartbreak-and-resilience-that-will-make-you-think-smile-and-cry/

I cried reading some but crying is ok..  it means I can still feel and love.  If these people can do it so can I.