Sorry this has happened to you.  You have gotten lots of good advice.  No doubt it's a huge shock to the system. 
I wanted to say a few things, firstly, I don't know if kids are involved or if you own a house.  You really need to get legal advice - now.  It is striking to me that you were the one to leave the house. You didn't change - she did. From now you have to think about YOU. Ignore the emotional games etc. it's done move on,  grieve get angry etc. but you have to keep her out of your decision making process from now on. 
I know this is truly the worst experience. But you can survive it and move on.
Good luck !

Hi all,

So it has been a month now - a tough one at that - since my wife told me she was gay. I have moved back into the house (in another room) and we have been kind to one another, but perhaps a bit awkward around each other regarding things that a month ago we would have paid no thought to - nudity, open bathrooms and shower doors etc. My wife says she does not want to be with anyone else and only wants her and I to be together - but the tone of all our conversations evolve around our marriage not continuing.Perhaps that was because I said I need to be loved fully, which includes emotional and physical. I have found myself so many times trying to find justifications that she is not in fact gay, rather bi and confused. Little cues here and there however bring me back to reality. Today, going into our amazon account I saw an array of books listed in the history (I was not snooping, they come up automatically) that pertain to coming out, being gay and moving on with your gay life. This really brought any of my far-fetched hopes crashing down. We in fact had a nap together in the same bed today and our emotional connection is still very strong. Just so saddening and difficult to deal with. There is this dissidence that lingers all day long. We love each other and should be together, and she is gay and she wants more than me. I have at least addressed my pain in a positive manner (I think). I took a month off work and focused on getting back in shape and eating better. I am still in shock this is happening to us, but I guess I am dealing with it now the best I can. Thanks for all your support above, that first day was so tremendously difficult and this forum helped me greatly!
 

Dear Jasonc....sounds like your W is still coming to terms with her SSA and/or trying to let you down gently.   It's okay that your are both going through this slowly.  Some couples rip the band-aid off quickly and others  take longer to process.  Good for you to take the time off to get yourself together. Please take time to also get yourself prepared.  Assemble a professional team to support you in the event that your W does decide to come out of that closet.  Always good to have a "Plan B" in case of emergency. Good Luck in the journey no one wants to go on.  You are not alone. 

Last edited by WendiT (July 31, 2016 3:03 pm)

Jason,

I stayed for a couple of years after my  ex came out to me.  I am not one to talk about what I should have done differently.  I did the best I could at the time.  I do not regret that best effort even though the person that I am now would react differently.  The thing that finally pushed me out was the realization that I was setting a bad example for my children.  What would I have wanted them to do had they found themselves in a similar situation.  Once I removed myself from the quotient and saw it third person it was obvious to me that how I had been living was wrong for me.  Now, to be fair to your situation, there is more to my story than is told in this simple reduction.  You have to do what you think is best for you. Trust yourself.  Listen to your core values, not just your heart.  It will come to you.