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1 of 1- MO
- Member
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My world just ended
Tonight the bomb dropped. She couldn't fight it anymore. I cry then numb, cry again. I think of our 5 year old and cry again. I want to sleep but have work in 5 hours. No rational thoughts, want nightmare to end........
- Rob
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Re: My world just ended
MO,
No.. the way of life you're used to ended. But your world is not ended. Cry. I cried everywhere I went.
But take small baby steps while crying.. steps forward for you and your kid. Your kid will need a strong
fierce parent that put them first... and your spouse is not it. Show your kid what a world looks like when one parent is selfish and destructive. Do not leave your home. Do not "help" your spouse ..start taking steps for you and your kid.
The world does not end.. these spouses are not Gods or supreme beings....far from it.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- phoenix
- Administrator
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Re: My world just ended
MO,
I'm sorry to hear this. I remember just how devastating it is. I was in utter despair for a couple of weeks and somewhat useless for a while after that as well.
I got some good advice early on and I want to share the same with you.
1 - Go see your doctor. You are under an extreme stress load and have real live shock. This isn't just mental, it's physical.. and it can be dangerous. Discuss getting some prescriptions for anxiety/anti-depression and for help sleeping. These things don't necessarily take away the pain, but they will help reduce the symptoms and help make each day much easier to get through. There is no weakness in asking for some medical help.. it shows strength to know that you need it.
2- Talk to your boss/HR at work. As I said, I was a disaster for a while.. I took a few weeks off work under long term disability. I felt guilty and nervous about it, thinking it made me weak and useless.. but it was just necessary. Assuming you have long term disability benefits at work.. use them!!! You will get most of your paycheck and you can stay on it for months until you get to a point where you have your feet back under you. At the very least, if you do decide to continue work, let your boss know what is going on so that they understand if/when your performance is suffering and can help lighten the burden.
3- Take things a day at a time / an hour at a time. Don't stress over things that are weeks/months in the future because you can't control those things yet.. they just add worry.
4- Take care of yourself. Get some exercise when you feel able. Make sure you are eating something healthy. I lost 20 something lbs in a couple of weeks.. not healthy.. that kind of thing can lead to heart attacks, etc..
Know that things will get better. You are going to be fine. You have a wonderful life left in front of you. You are going to be an amazing dad and your son is going to turn out fantastic. This is a storm, but the storm will pass and you will be happy again.
Let us know how we can help
-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular.