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Confusedwife, the amount of control he seems to be exerting is a form of psychological abuse.
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My lezex still exerts control... she knows I'll just put up with her than get into a an argument ... But I she is crazy...one cannot "win" an arguement with a raging narcissist.
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Um, it's not 'just' an unhappy marriage. It's like a pair of ill-fitting shoes - you start walking in them and they're uncomfortable, further up the road you've got blisters, keep going and it's not going to get any better is it, just more and more painful to walk at all. Til you can't any more.
good luck with everything. wishing you the best.