No problem anything I can do to help I am more then happy to offer.

Ugh... I HATE the we comments.  Seriously, we?  Uhm, what about him(or her)... maybe that's ultimately "we." Makes me wonder if they think that we can live like this forever.  I know I can't.  I refuse to compete with a tablet/computer!  Now, if I got some answers, or just a little bit of honesty about things, I may reconsider... I won't know until I know what the heck I'm dealing with!  The other night my husband started talking in code.  Ugh.  Anyway, I basically deduce that he is trying to decide if he wants to stay with me (because I'm comfortable...how sweet) or go be with his new and exciting love interest but would have to deal with a lot of people around. I'm not sure what that means, a lot of people.  I guess I shouldn't really care.  I have to find a way to get myself to a place where I hate being treated like this more than I love him.  Ugh.
BTW, good for you about the couch statement!!

Last edited by Shari (May 1, 2017 4:40 pm)

I'll be here. It's bonding night for my youngest son and me. It's super girl night. Lol

Ugh - I HATE the "playing dumb" thing.  My ex does that CONSTANTLY - STILL.  He does inappropriate things all.the.TIME, and when I confront him, he'll just apologize and say, "I'm sorry - I didn't even think of that."  Riiiiight.  He was providing the kids with their cell phones for a long time.  He offered, and I let him.  Then when they'd get grounded from the phones, he'd tell me that he'd want the phones for the weekend anyway if he was coming to get them.  That he wanted to look through them.  Or that there's no house phone and so he has no way to contact them if he runs out.  So I'd send their phones along.  Only to find out later that of COURSE he let them use the phones all weekend.  Then he'd tell me that he was keeping the kids' phones until their grounding was over.  I'd find out that they had their phones - they were just hiding it from me.  My son texted me by accident one time, then tried to say that he was actually my ex texting me as a joke.  WTF?!?  So I confront ex and he's all, "Ooooh, I didn't realize you'd grounded them from ALL electronics", or "I was just doing what I thought was fair - I had no idea you wouldn't agree."  BULL. SHIT.  I finally just told him to cut it the f out.  That I'm NOT stupid, and I resented him thinking I was this dumb.  Eventually, it became such a problem that I got the kids new cell phones that I could control, and he cancelled his accounts.  Enough trying to be the good guy when you KNOW you're being an asshole.  And lest you think I was just overreacting by punishing my kids from their phones, the last time I did it to ds he'd freaking egged a BMW.  As soon as exdh learned that there were going to be no damages to pay, he gave ds the phone right back.  As if the money and the action had ANYthing to do with each other whatsoever.

If she thought the house was "one house with two floors", and it's the SAME HOUSE as it was before, then surely she'd be acting the same as before.  If her behavior is different, it betrays her mindset.  It doesn't matter WHAT she thinks - it matters that she's isolated herself from her children and is acting like she's not doing that.  She knows.  Tell her that she didn't USED to act this way before.  Cut it the f out.  Or if this is how she wants to behave, then she's free to go live alone so all of you can have use of the entire house.

Kel

I'm not encouraging anyone to leave the home if that's what they truly want.  I'm saying to call B.S. on these spouses when they play dumb.  If you look at every statement as a stand-alone statement, then it becomes difficult to refute anything.  You don't KNOW, for example, that his ex doesn't truly see the house as one place with two floors.  You can't refute that, because you can't see what's in her mind.  What you CAN do is see that it's the same house, and yet her behavior isn't the same as it was before.  Meaning she doesn't think that now, and she never did.  It's just an excuse.

I'm not suggesting that calling B.S. will fix anything.  But I do believe that if everything that's B.S. is called on these gay spouses, they'll stop spouting it as much.  It's difficult to want to tell lies when every.single.time you're told you're full of shit.  It gets old.  May as well say nothing after a while.

Kel