As far as I can see bisexual does not mean they are happy with a woman anyway.  Of course he is gay and really from the sounds of it he is a sex addict and needs to seek treatment for that as well as finding himself a nice boyfriend.  But none of that is your worry.  You need to focus on helping yourself get free from this man.  Before you get an std.

If he loved you he would be honest with you.  

 

Thank you for responding. I have read a lot of posts on here, what has me so much more confused is that the majority of posts state that the gay spouse did not want anything sexual to do with their opposite sex partner. Clearly I am married to a gay man from his desire for men, yet the sexual contact with me part has me confused. 

needanswer73,

A sad welcome.

Straight men do no look at gay porn or go on craigslist.    I have no desire to ... I would think abnormal if any my straight freinds did this.

My sex life in my marriage was active.  My now ex did not give me any indication she did not like men or liked woman.

You're not a fool...you love your husband..we get it.    I think , though your suffering from "cognotive dissonance"...your having a hard time believing what you know in your bones...your mind doesn't want it to be true.   Our love is strong  and even our minds but eventually our bodies will tell us our spouses are betraying us.

Be kind to yourself.. you did nothing wrong.      Build your support system.

I'm totally with Phoenix.  If your husband was having lots of active sex with you but was looking at, talking to, and meeting up with WOMEN on the side for oral sex, would you be focused on his sexuality, or the fact that he's lying to you and cheating on you?  Don't let the gay thing take center focus here - that stuff needs to be thrown on TOP of the fact that he's cheating on you.  That makes it even worse.

As for him loving you, I'd rationalize that love is a verb, not a noun.  If he loved you the way he was supposed to love his wife, he wouldn't be doing ANY of this.  He wouldn't lie to you, he wouldn't cheat on you, heck - he wouldn't feel the need for all of this.  The other part is that so WHAT if he loves you if you can't get out of him what you need in a marriage???  Do you know how many men could say they love you, but you don't want them because they don't float your boat???  So the fact that he loves you doesn't mean that you're meant to be soul mates or something.  if a bum off ythe street told you he loved you, would you move right in with him?  No!  Because you're not interested.  I'm proposing that you not be interested in ANYone that tells you they love you but shows you the opposite.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

Kel

As for his excuses about why he does these things..... WHO THE F CARES?!?  If he was abused as a child, that's tragic and terrible.  What's that go to do with him cheating on you now?  NOTHING.  The fact that he was actively looking for men the week after he moved means that he had a regular (or several) back at home.  He couldn't even wait more than a week when there was SO much to be done.  That should tell you how habitual of a habit his behavior was where you lived before.

I don't believe him when he says that he doesn't get hard off of watching men, and then has to watch straight porn to get off.  WHY would he be watching it if it did nothing for him?  We've all been curious about some odd sex fetish and watched a hot minute of it.  But I'm betting that we didn't go back for more unless we found it exciting.  What would be the point?  He's lying there.  PLUS..... straight men don't look at gay porn.  They just.... don't.  They want to bleach their eyeballs if they accidentally see something like that.