OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
* As a peer-to-peer network, any advice given is that of a peer, based on personal experience, and should not be considered professional in nature.
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
NOTE: Due to recurring spam abuse, you must register to post.
1 of 1- Jesse's Girl
- New member
Offline
Jesse's Girl Update
Turns out my husband of almost 12 years is not only gay, but a cheater as well. Apparently, there have been several encounters. He has contracted Chlamydia as well. I found all this stuff out while snooping on his Facebook messenger.
I thought just knowing about TGT was bad...this is just AWFUL. Now, I need a Dr. appointment. The crap just keeps coming. I have kicked him out and now I have to figure everything else out..job, lawyer etc. My 9 year old son is devastated. He keeps asking me to fix things. I wish I could. It breaks my heart. At least my husband told my son that Dad made some horrible choices and hurt Mom terribly. Which is the reason for him leaving.
Why is this happening to me? I'm a good person. I was faithful and true...I just don't get it.
- Demons-halo
- Member
Offline
Re: Jesse's Girl Update
I am so sorry hun. It sucks to find out that way. I flat out told my wife I have no plans to cheat or sleep with anyone while we are still married. And asked her to respect at least that part of our marriage. That if she finds someone to file for divorce first.
My kids are the same they come to daddy to fix what's wrong and I know the heart break you are feeling all to well. I am at a total loss on what to do or tell them. My kids don't know about mom being gay yet. I am respecting her wishes for now. She wants to tell them when she's ready.
- Rob
- Member
Offline
Re: Jesse's Girl Update
Jessesgirl
Yes we are good people. Too good perhaps.. we stay because we love our spouses absolutely. ..would trust them with our lives and our children's lives.
And then they do this.
For some of us we have to step back and think because they will blame us saying we caused it. But even with low self esteem we know that's not true. And even if it is..in what world is cheating ok...it isnt. So they are wrong.
You've seen and know all you need to know. Why us.. we can ponder that here.. but while doing that you need to gather strength..do what needs to be done. You took prudent steps. ..get tested.. small steps each day..cry as you go..but take the steps. I cried everywhere..at the bank..in my lawyers office.
But walk forward. One tiny step at a time.. crawl if you have to.. but always forward.
Last edited by Rob (April 23, 2017 4:36 am)
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- maresyd
- Member
Offline
Re: Jesse's Girl Update
Jesse's Girl.... you are strong. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Your 9 year old will be ok, and at least your husband told him it was his fault. At that age, kids just need security and love. They need honesty that things are hard now but everything will be ok. Even if it feels to you that it won't.
Asking why will never get you an answer. You can't make sense of crazy.
The strength that you sourced to kick him out will get you through this. Get an entire STD panel, including HIV. I know that's so difficult, and I remember sitting in the doctor's office alone sobbing. Difficult to explain to others.
What kind of support system do you have? Source everyone you can, so you have little bits from everyone. You'll need it.
Keep posting, we are all here, and we get it.
M
“Above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely of places.”
- Demons-halo
- Member
Offline
Re: Jesse's Girl Update
Absolutely we are all here for you. If you want to talk but it's to much to private my email is in my profile. Alot of people on here have been there for me and I want to give back. Stay strong.
Last edited by Demons-halo (April 24, 2017 2:35 pm)
- Kel
- Member
Offline
Re: Jesse's Girl Update
I'm so, so sorry you're going through this. It's simply terrible. Unimaginable to outsiders - that level of betrayal.
Keep your anger level at a point where it can continue to fuel you through the next few weeks.
Kel
You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.