My daughter is 23 and was out of the house when "the confession" came.  Now she is at the point where she doesn't care about who wronged who. She wants me to get on with my life which is true.  She is right.  GX has moved right along.  It is my turn.  Of course daughter has no idea of the pain, yet no longer wants to be in the middle of any of it.  She really wasn't involved as she is out and on her own.  She spends a lot of time with her dad and he has been a good father. He still takes both daughters out on the town and even shopping (at Victoria secret) and wherever they want to go. Clubs where they go to see their favorite band, he is 56 and most of the kids are in their 20's and 30's.  He dances and has a good time.  I don't think he notices that many see him as gay even though he looks and acts the part.  I do not see this daughter much.  We but heads sometimes.  Other daughter who is 21 was at home still when this was going on and she has a different take on it.  She is close to me and is concerned for me.  She got to see and hear things (much of it unintended), that made her understand the situation way better than daughter #1. Still getting past the past is the desire for all of us here.  Even if I need to distance myself from daughter #1 for a while as I continue to heal it is what I will do.  It does hurt however when GX, girlfriend, and my daughters hang together.  I have felt sorry for myself for too long now.  I am climbing out of this valley even if I need to claw my way out.

Linda

I too have two daughters (and a son) and they see things so differently. My oldest daughter had only just left home (only weeks), the second one has been gone out of the house over 7 years and they're the same as yours. The one who was out of the house longer doesn't want to look at the "bad" done, the years of lies, deceit, hasn't witnessed the disrespect, his vitriol and venom, just wants to see this as it's over now, in the past, move on, it doesn't matter who did what it's just what it is and don't say anything bad about dad. My other two kids have stayed in the family home since TGT and have witnessed the toxic atmosphere that was there when we were together, have experienced how he's been so dismissive of me, the disrespect.

I don't see my daughters often, we're thousands of miles apart, they're thousands of miles apart also (physically and in terms of how they're dealing with this), it's only my son I see every few weeks. I did distance myself from one daughter for a while as I couldn't cope with the "positivity" she wanted to provide (this was in the immediate 3-6 mths after TGT), I couldn't listen to it so texting was the only form of communication and I ignored what I couldn't handle, didn't react to it. It's only now (17mths post TGT) that I've heard her say it must have been so hard on me. I tell myself time, it'll take time, but this daughter is much closer to his side of the family so I doubt she'll ever be fully open to seeing it from my side. She'll always have his and their perspective in the forefront of her thinking.