Another couple of weeks gone by. 

I didn't mention last time that I got a pair of puppies.  They are the cutest little things...  but as puppies are.. they are a lot of work.  Perhaps a mature (potty trained) dog would have been better for me at this stage, but I got them for myself and the boys and they wanted puppies.  I like building a bond with a puppy too.   They are getting easier and as soon as they are potty trained that will be great. 

I've been focused a lot on forgiveness since I left for my trip and since getting back.  This is an area where my new friend has been challenging me and offering some advice.  I'm not doing it for her, but it's nice to have the support.  Maresyd has been so helpful as well.  It's so necessary to have people in our lives who can help push us in the right direction.  

I'm not completely at a place of forgiveness and peace over my ordeal yet, but I've made some progress.  I realized that at this point it's only harmful to me and potentially my sons, so I don't want to carry around the pain and bitterness any longer.  *Religion*.. My pastor helped me see that the sin me ex committed is more against God than against me, and as such, it's His place to judge and not my own.  When asked if i wanted her to be punished I can honestly say no.. I want God to forgive her.  So if I want God to forgive her, how can I not forgive her.   Also my pastor challenged me to understand that in the eyes of God, I'm no better than she is.  My sins are still sins and should earn me the same penalty, but I'm forgiven.  So if I can really understand and appreciate the forgiveness that I am granted, then I should be able to do the same for my ex.    It's still hard.. I still have pain and bitterness about my past, but I'm making progress.  

I think we all need to work on forgiveness so that we can move forward and be healthy.  I'm going to keep working on myself and when I'm further along I'll share more thoughts and resources (both religious and non-religious)

I fear that many of us will get stuck in a place of anger and unforgiveness and thus, never get free of TGT.  It can be like a jail.  I'm now divorced and separated and I refuse to waste any more years of my life in bondage.. especially when it would be my own fault at this point.  I'm free to move on and make a better life now.  It's an oppoortuntiy that I've been given and I'm going for it.. i don't want to miss out on finding happiness because I'm still angry and unforgiving of my ex.  

Last edited by lostdad (March 10, 2017 2:17 pm)

Lostad,

Bet those puppies don't cheat on you and withdraw all physical affection.

Bet the kids love them.  Bu don't be surprised if your ex gets some now.
 

OK that last thought was a LITTLE mean of me.

My ex would never get a dog.  We got one when we were newly married and had him for 14+ years.  She never liked him.. constantly complained.  When he did she said we would never get another. 

Being able to get a dog is one of the perks of being single.  

I will admit though..  these two are testing my patience.  They will not potty train and I'm getting really tired of it.  I'll catch one getting ready to go in the house and take him/her outside right away and then stand out there and freeze for 30 minutes and they will not go..   then I'll get cold and frustrated and bring them inside.. and they will go within a minute..  the first second i'm not watching.  

 

Hi Lostdad, I have two doggies, hopefully I can give you some help here. Potty training is really hard and much harder with two littermates because they are bonded with each other more so than their new owners so the general advice is to try and train them separately as much as possible, including non-potty training. So if you can separate them and do some sit, give me paw for a treat you will bond with them more and they will take more notice of you than just looning around with each other! Even if they don't do the sit, paw etc they will be focussed on you because you hold the treat, make it a good one, sausage or chicken, just little bits.

So, tips for potty training

Use a word or phrase over and over "do a toilet' 'have a wee' then when they do a wee or poo say that phrase loudly and give tonnes, I mean loud jolly praise and a treat, so the next time they do the job to get the praise and treat and understand what you want of them when you say the words

Don't ever be tempted to use puppy pads, they confuse the inside / outside toilet issue in the dogs mind.

If they have a mistake inside just ignore it and clear it up, no dramas, they will start to see the difference between fun and treats if they do it outside and no fun if they go inside

Do you have grass or just patio? Grass helps, maybe invest in a slab of turf if you only have patio

If they are old enough it's easier to 'empty' them on a walk, but take care only small walks for pups, their bones are not fully formed

Above all, they will get it eventually, I promise, just be consistent and show them the best way with treats and praise. If they bark or scratch to go out, lots of praise!

Good luck, I'd be lost without my dogs, persevere and you will have some fabulous friends.

Last edited by Duped (March 20, 2017 7:44 am)