Oh - an regarding him having taken money that might not any longer be available, yes, there ARE ways to get that back.  He needs to be responsible for that.  My sister is going through this right now, and he's stolen and embezzled hundreds of thousands of dollars from their family business and their home finances.  ALL of that comes out in the wash - the divorce.  He will be getting hundreds of thousands less from the sale of the two homes they have, from the buy-out of the business that they share, from all their savings.  HE took he, so now HE has to pay it back.  It's not paid back so much as deducted from what he'll be getting - but it's the same thing.

No, he shouldn't and won't be allowed to just steal money from your household and not be held responsible.  He took that from YOU, hon.  Get angry already.  You need some fuel to propel you.  Anger is that fuel.  It's perfect for now - when you need to be on your own side (because clearly he's on his own side - NOT yours).  Take what is yours - you will need it.  And you deserve it.

Kel