OurPath Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by OurPath, Inc., (formerly the Straight Spouse Network). OurPath is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People who have discovered that their partner is LGBT+. Your contribution, no matter how small, helps us provide our community with this space for discussion and connection.


BE A DONOR >>>


You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?



January 28, 2017 6:33 am  #1


Free

Free Pickup @ Curb
What is in Perfect Pristine Condition:

Narcissist,Gaslighting live in.
No training required

The Bad:
Has broken leg
Has No Car, needs picked up at curb
Has No job
Has No money, totally dependant


No trades

 

January 28, 2017 7:12 am  #2


Re: Free

Hello,
Free @ Curb rant is my smart-ass way of dealing with this situation.
Worn out Worn slick.
I have been trying to play nice since he broke his leg, tonight it blew up.
Although I know the crap behind it but
the audacity of his way of thinking still blows my mind. 
We went to house sit for the evening.
After about 5 hours he asked if I cared if he left (we only live a mile from the house sitting) so assuming he was going home I said I didn't care.  Homeowners came in, and that was when he said he was going to the city.  I asked why (made up crap) cut to the chase...I asked if he would be home when I got there, Approx 30 minutes later. He said yes. Needless to say he wasn't.   I tried to call several times wouldn't answer.  So as usual resorted to texting.  Our business is down because of his broken leg, we are absolutely broke financially. 
I get a few dollars from trying to sell stuff on ebay.  It gives me enough to put gas in the car to go to Dr apps and then pray I sell something else.
Anyway, I put a few dollars of gas in yesterday for Dr app.  So I text and told him I didn't have money to keep gas in the car, his 45 minute trip tonight burned the gas out.  I told him to replace it, with one his cronies...who knows.  Gone 6 hours, comes in @ 5 a.m. acts like nothing is wrong and I'm the crazy one.  Said he told me he was going.   Lots of gaslighting.  I told him he needed to go immediately, call his so called friends whoever just go. He acts like that is a surprise.  I reminded him that he was told the day after Thanksgiving to make arrangements, but because he broke his leg is why it had been delayed.
The car he went in, is not his, not mine, it's my Mother's.  I'm the one trying to keep gas in it for Dr appointments.  The Dr hasn't released him yet, because it's not healing as expected...another 4 weeks before the chance of a release.  So that means No Driving, but according to him he's  not released to go back to work.  And he didn't do anything wrong.  BS
Everything seemed quieter the last couple of weeks since he stopped with the pain meds until tonight.  I want to scream.

     Thread Starter
 

January 28, 2017 8:43 am  #3


Re: Free

I was going to reply to your ad saying no thanks..I already put out the trash this week.


I feel so bad for you...your audacity statement is so true..I recall not being able to respond to the lies because they were so ridiculous my mouth would be agape which only infuriated her more.

Is there any way you can plan your exit?  Family that can help YOU financially ?
His leg doesn't seem to be stopping him from getting around so I would take that out of the equation. Sounds like he can go on job interview then.

Sadly with TGT and narcissism it means to hell with the finances ..torch and burn in their minds. 



I would make sure there is never gas in the  car putting only the minimum in YOU need  to get anywhere.  When he goes to use it..not your problem.

Its official ..you got me so angry at this guy.   I'd say we all put our wits together to out wit him but the only way to do that with a narc is to get away from them.

Last edited by Rob (January 28, 2017 8:47 am)


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 

January 28, 2017 9:58 am  #4


Re: Free

LC, I agree with Rob, can YOU leave?  Where can you go for support and just pack it in and never look back? 


“Above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely of places.”
 

January 28, 2017 12:18 pm  #5


Re: Free

rob & maresyd,
Funny..I only had enough money to put just enough in the car, and the car isn't his.  He doesn't have one.  My car has no gas and uses more that why using Mom's car.  Just leave:  I live with my older parents and that doesn't change anyway you slice it.  He needs to leave. 
I have tried to play nice, other reason because he has no family here they are half way around the world. Very few friends.  Last night changed all that, to pull what he did.
When he got home gaslighting, excuses, getting in my face, and it coming down to a shoving match, he's got to go. I text him a link to the different shelters, help in our area.

     Thread Starter
 

January 28, 2017 12:40 pm  #6


Re: Free

LC, If your parents own the home and are able, can they ask that he leave?  Can you involve the police for abusive behavior?  Can you contact your local women's shelter to see if they can assist you?  I was a former crisis line worker and at the very least they can help you obtain basic services and assist you and your parents.  I'm sorry this is happening.  If you live in the US, their toll free number is 1-800-799-7233 .  
Please call and see what assistance you can get for preventing him from coming back and harming you or your parents any further. 
Keep us posted. 


“Above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely of places.”
 

February 1, 2017 12:09 pm  #7


Re: Free

The very best thing you can do once you receive the truth is to recognize it as a GIFT.  The gift is that you FINALLY have all the information that has been withheld from you   You finally have the TRUTH. Please allow that truth to set you free. Take your gift and begin to love yourself enough to place distance between yourself and this toxic individual. Print out the 10 steps of distancing and read it many times daily. It will save your sanity and your life. You must remove this person from your life and move in a new direction. The only thing you would ever need to discuss once you are out of this nightmare is any connections due to children or business Keep it strictly business.  I promise you, your life will begin anew once you understand the enormous importance of doing this. 

 

February 2, 2017 12:06 pm  #8


Re: Free

That's really shitty.  I'm so sorry you're going through this.  Time to extricate yourself.

I admire you being kind to him when he's down and out.  However, it's certainly not being appreciated, and he's proven that it's not really needed since he can get around on his own and take advantage of you.  He's made his bed. Let him lie in it.  They never feel the full weight of their actions if we protect them from feeling it.  No one else would do more for him than you already have.

K


You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
 

Board footera

 

Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum