Some ideas that I want to look into for future.. 

1.)  Triage Kit for new members.  We talked about this a while ago and I haven't forgotten.  I think everyone deserves their own personal and unique thread and our personal support and replies.. but I think there would still be some value in compiling a list of great advice for new members to look through. 

2.)  Resources.  I think having a sticky thread with a list of helpful resources would be valuable.  It could be links to help people find legal help, state aid, women's shelters, child protective services, therapists, local support groups, local Str8 spouse groups, other forums with similar affiliation (ie. MOM), etc.. 

3.)  What if we set up another section of the forum dedicated to moving forward..  maybe something for conversations about how to make the best out of our situations and continue recovery after we are through the emergency room phase.  Perhaps self-help activities, hobbies, dating, letting go of anger, co-parenting, inspiration we can share about how long term members have found happiness, reviews of books or articles or blogs that others might find helpful. etc.. 

Last edited by lostdad (January 24, 2017 4:09 pm)

Thank you LostDad for stepping up & helping out!

I think a seperate section for Spouses of Trans Gender would be beneficial. The issues are simiar to TGT, but also completly unique & it's like finding a needle in a haystack to get to info that relates to that. Plus, there is only 2 other forums out there & one is so blatantly PRO Stay- "Stand by your man" that any dissent from that puts members on "watch/parole" status or worse, kicked off the site. The other site is hard for searchers to find & not nearly as active as this one.

Good luck & thanks again LostDad!

Steve wrote:

Hi Lostdad... Congrats on becoming an Admin.  I don't know how Sam has done it alone for so long.

I think there is a real need for at least two new and separate topics:
1. Support for people with Transgender or Transexual spouses
2. Support for people trying to stay in a Mixed Orientation Marriage.

I feel like it would be a bad idea to break up the forum too much into multiple topics and sub-topics.  It's nice to have most of the posts in one place.  That way you can see what is happening quickly and easily without clicking into multiple locations.  I have seen many forums 'out smart' themselves by becoming so complex that they are unusable.

Just my thoughts.

Steve

 

Thanks Steve, Sham, Rob. 

Our forum is great and doesn't NEED to be changed.   But if there are ideas that the group likes then I think it's great to talk about and come up with a group decision. 


So question.. how many forum sections are too many?
We have 4 currently:
1.)  General Discussion
2.)  Support
3.)  Is He/She Gay?
4.)  Our Stories

To be fair..  Our stories isn't really a "forum" section for discussion.  It is more a collection of "articles". 

Some new ideas:
1.)  How to move forward?
2.)  Support if your spouse is Transgender/Transexual
3.)  Support for Mixed Orientation Marriage


I like every one of these ideas.. but 7 forum sections is probably too many.  There is line between more forums helping keep things organized so people can find what they want and participate;  Or, the flip side..  too many forum sections which become vacant and people actually avoid them because they don't think anyone will respond.

Thoughts?

Last edited by lostdad (January 25, 2017 4:00 pm)

Here's my thoughts. Bear in mind I'm the guy trying to keep it simple... but I see this structure as a bit of a 'step by step' through the process so that people can navigate back and forward depending on where they are at and what sort of information they are looking for.

In this structure people dealing with specific issues can quickly and easily find relevant information eg. they might be dealing with issues around transgender or grappling with child custody issues.

In this structure people in a MOM and those who wish to stay in a MOM might frequent and provide support in the 'Living in a MOM' forum.

Anyway here it is... I doubt it's perfect but it might be a good starting point maybe :

I’M NEW HERE
Forum 1 – Say 'Hi' and introduce yourself
Forum 2 – What you need to know first

• Forum jargon (pinned post)
• Newbie triage – What you need to know first (pinned post)

Steve wrote:

Anyway here it is... I doubt it's perfect but it might be a good starting point maybe :

I’M NEW HERE
Forum 1 – Say 'Hi' and introduce yourself
Forum 2 – What you need to know first

• Forum jargon (pinned post)
• Newbie triage – What you need to know first (pinned post)

 
SUPPORT
Forum 1 - My spouse is gay, lesbian or bisexual
Forum 2 - My spouse is transgender or transsexual
Forum 3 - Living in a Mixed Orientation Marriage – for those staying in a MOM
Forum 4 - Getting out – Separation, divorce, child custody and other not-fun stuff
Forum 5 - Dealing with the trauma – Emotional and psychological strategies
Forum 6 - Moving on – Life after TGT
 
OUR STORIES

Cheers, Steve

I really like this layout Steve.  Thanks for putting so much time into brainstorming!

For the sake of discussion and continued brainstorming, let me throw a couple tweaks into your framework and see what people think. 


SUPPORT
Forum 1 – New member introduction and support
Forum 2 – What you need to know first
-Forum jargon (pinned post)
-Newbie triage – What you need to know first (pinned post) 

EDUCATION and General Discussion
Forum 1 - My spouse is gay, lesbian or bisexual
Forum 2 - My spouse is transgender or transsexual
Forum 3 - Living in a Mixed Orientation Marriage – for those staying in a MOM
Forum 4 - Getting out – Separation, divorce, child custody, finances and other not-fun stuff
Forum 5 - Healing and Moving On – Emotional and psychological help to heal and move forward to a better life. 
 
SUCCESS STORIES - "Light at the end of the tunnel"
Accounts from survivors who are months or years beyond TGT. 



Some comments about my tweaks. 

1.)   I feel like the most important function of this forum is to help the brand new people.  We serve as an emergency room or triage center for people who are days up to a few weeks from having the bomb dropped on them.  My first post here was "How do I survive this?"   This group saved me by listening, supporting, advising and just sharing empathy and mutual experience with me.  I think this should be the first thing people see when they load the webpage.
2.)  Logically, "What you need to know first" should be the first thing.  But as I said just above, I think we can all agree that nobody really cares that much about forum etiquette, jargon, pre-reading, or other technicalities when we are in "triage".  I don't want someone in the midst of crisis to have to worry about understanding an acronym before they reach out for help.  So I think this section should be listed second.  Share your story and ask for help first.. after we have helped stabilize the new member, then they can start to learn a bit and process things. 
3.) My version has one less sub-forum under general discussion/education.  I think we can combine dealing with trauma and moving on into one section.  I'd like to combine even more so have fewer sections since our traffic is not very high..  but I think these are incredibly important topics so I don't know how I would shorten the list any more.   Oh.. I added finances to the "getting out" section.  
4.) I changed "Our Stories" to "Success Stories".  I think this description helps avoid confusion for new members who aren't sure where they should post.  Plus it follows the direction of the forum.  We start in the emergency room "Support", then we begin to heal "Learning and General Discussion", then we move on and leave the hospital.. and then later we come back and share our success stories.  I want them to be inspiration to those new members who just can't see any hope in their future. 


Thoughts???  

 Again, this is not my forum.  I'm not the leader.  I'm just here to serve and help with clerical stuff.  Let's keep talking and see if we have more ideas.  Then we can pitch them to Sam and see what he thinks.. and he's good with it, I can remap the forum sections and sort the threads into the correct areas.