Still Wondering and all,

I appreciated your comments. Well this site is about TGT. So, I take it that loyalty is prized among many of the lesbian community. But there is a bit of PD's out there. BPD is not uncommon. Poaching or attempting to poach a lesbian's partner is not without risk. Some Lesbians pack knives and Lezstabbings are in the record of about every jurisdiction. Not sure about the Gay thing except that I really am creaped out when a gay makes an advance. Hasn't happened that often. But, in your case, your husband should have told you before marriage and moved on before marriage. Lgbt is not an excuse for lack of integrity. The literature shows that women adjust well to the new life. They can network and socialize. Men, well, not so good. After "the big D", scientific surveys show that men have a poorer outlook even if they remarry. So, rejoice, it's a good outlook for you!

If you want me to explain how it feels for a good  man whose marriage fails and why his outlook is poorer, then I explain it for me. My first wife is hpd too. So the marriage was doomed before it began. I went in with the expectation of being faithful and to prove my loyalty. A promise to keep hell or high water. When she left for the Mexican Bingo Wizard (without notification or divorce....ouch), I was stuck with an emotional/spiritual bad check writer. Bottom Line. In a mans mind sometime, to then get to know someone new, learn all about her new family, hopes and dreams, history and intimate things is a betrayal of the original promise. Our logical minds. Were we serious then or are we serious now? What good is your word, my man, because you didn't keep it then (because he couldn't)? The problen is worse with PD wives because they never give closure. They are not conciliatory. It's all your fault, the HPD says.
There is more to it than that but you get the idea. The man is left feeling insecure because he failed.
Hope this helps. Biltrayed