Hello,
Let me start by saying this can be for the guys too that are living with bi/gay wives.  Sorry I do not know all the terms for different preferences.  The way I see it, not important.  If you think your in a straight relationship and your spouse isn't, then the label is pointless.
I'm just starting to ask the question if my husband is.  I have not come out and asked for the simple fact I do not want to ask that of a straight man.  Most straight men will not tolerate that question, and in a straight relationship would add fuel to the fire if there already is problems.
Anyway, I have been reading posts, keeping my eyes and ears open.  I've learned the term "Gaslighting", thank you Vicky.  I knew something was wrong with all the craziness, but didn't have a name for it until I came here, had never heard of it.  I read up on Narcissist (which there are different levels) and watched a documentary on it.
I'm sorry I can ramble, so let's get to what I hope will be encouragement.

1. Take A Step Back (This Is Where Clarity Starts)
2. Take Care Of Yourself (This Is Where Encouragement & Fortitude Starts)
3. Take Control Of Your Life (Not Theirs)
4. Don't Beat Yourself Up For Loving Someone (It's One Of The Greatest Joy's In Life) Even the Ones That Are Suppose To Be Unlovable
5. Don't "Gaslight" Back In The Heated Arguments (I'm Guilty Of That)
The Old Playground Saying "Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones But Words Will Never Harm Me" Is A Lie!  Harmful, Hateful Words Get Down In The Soul Of A Person And Are Like A Rotting Cancer, First To The Receiver And Then The Giver.
6. Forgive Yourself & Apologize If You Did
7. Respect Yourself (Believe In Your Insticts) CAUTION: I Have Sibling Her Instincts Are All Over The Place.  My Point Is You Know Whether Your Instincts Have Served you Well In The Past. If They Haven't then just be Cautious Before Accusations.
8. Instead Of Accusations Turn Them Into Questions.
9. Then Keep Quiet (I Have 4 Grown Sons, I Always Told Them "If Your Always Running Your Mouth You Never Learn Anything") Not Always Easy In An Argument, Practice Makes Perfect.  You Will Be Amazed At What You Learn.
10. Take A Deep Breath, It's All Another Stepping Stone In Life.  Try And Look At All The Positives Not The Negatives.

Funny How Most Relationships Have  Strong Person & A Weaker One...
Guess What We Are The Strong Ones
Don't Forget That

Please Forgive Me If I Sound Like A Know It All....I Don't That's Why I Am Here.  I Wanted To Share What Has Served Me Well Over The Years Hoping It Will Help Hurting People.

Take The Baby Steps Ladies And Gentlemen you will soon be walking then running.
May God Bless All Of You, Love & Peace To All