He is also not honest with you. When did texting become OK? What if all this was with other women and he claimed he didn't remember any of it?

I think the lies to cover up their gay cheating just adds to the mistreatment and betrayal.

Its shocking when this happens
.you realize their opinion of us is so low...they can actually look us straight in the face and lie and then sleep at night.  Its monstrous.

The confusion they give is a form of gaslighting.  That is also a horrible feeling..you'll find yourself posting here asking if you are crazy..
No you are not.  Your being lied to by a cheater.  A gay cheater to add. 

Start taking baby steps each day for yourself..plan your exit and get away..we cannot cure them and make them suddenly love and respect us.

Hello Everyone!
​Thanks for responding! This is tough! Having to live with someone and you know whats going on but the other person refuses to talk about it! My husband thinks everything is ok and its not! We started a marriage therapy then he stopped because he didn't like the one I selected. So I told him you pick one! He has not and its been 3 months due to his traveling for work every week! I'm hoping in 2 weeks we can get to see a sexual therapist! You think  that might help him talk about this issue? Any recommendations here? He knows I know but refuses to come clean with me! Seriously talk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so pissed here! Talk already! He continues to work, travel, come home, work, travel again and again ! What about our big problem? Still on hold! Tell me do you think I should continue to talk about it eventhough he has to work? Everytime I start talking about it he always says its the wrong time since he has to work! Plus with 4 kids I cant scream/yell and go nuts when there around which is always!  I was planning to go to a hotel me and him only to talk!!!!!!!!!! this is crazy! I cannot continue like this! Hes always saying it will not happen again and guess what it continues to happen! I will ask for him to bring his PC as well! Plus, hes a Project manager/tester/automater (computers) hides everything well and writes programs I cant understand to hide his pics now! Lets see any advice please continue to send them my way I can use some help know Im not alone in this! Thank you amigos!!!!! 

Confused123 - I am so sorry that you have reason to be here.  You have been unfairly put in this situation; you deserve to know the whole truth, immediately.

Unfortunately, your husband has nothing to gain by telling the truth and therefore he will not do so.  He has a far better chance of keeping the safe and comfortable life he has with you if he lies. No, he's not gay!  No, he's no bi! No, he's never cheated!  No, he'll never leave you!  No, he'll never bring home crabs, herpes or HIV!

Confronting your husband in a hotel room is very unlikely to be satisfying experience for you.  He will tell endless lies and you will know that.  Then, when he finally confesses a few small scraps of the truth, he will do everything he can to make you doubt what he's done has any meaning, or that any of your most serious suspicions are valid.  Finally, even if you two experience what feels like an emotional break-through and you enjoy a passionate night together, you will leave the hotel with no clearer understanding of the full truth of what's in your husband's mind than you had before.

Here is the unvarnished truth, as only a not-straight, formerly married man can tell it:

Sexual attractions are not a choice.  If your husband has ever once admitted to watching gay porn, being bi or performing oral sex with another man, he is not straight and HE NEVER WILL BE.  NEVER!  There is no "cure" for same sex attractions.

In your situation you have iron-clad proof that he has cheated.  However, the proof you have is almost certainly just the tip of the iceberg.  You can safely assume he has a "friend with benefits" in every city he regularly visits.  You can also assume he's been having sex with a lot of different men, over a period of many years.

Those are the truths your husband will never tell you. 

Now that you know, what will you do?

You only have three choices:

1.  Stay in your marriage and try to improve it by telling your husband you want his total honesty in exchange for your permission to have sex with men.  This is what's called an open marriage.  The details of how an open marriage works varies by couple.  There are on-line resources available wherein women in your situation can share their open marriage experience and explain why it's worked for them.

2.  Stay in your marriage and make the best of what it is.  This is essentially keeping things as they've been.  You know he's not straight, you know he's cheating, but you don't talk about it.  Instead you put on a happy face --- and keep your fingers crossed that he only has safe sex so he never puts you at risk.

3.  Leave your marriage.  This is for women who want the opportunity to be authentically loved and respected by an honest straight man.  Divorce is not easy and few survive without suffering, but once the bad stuff is over you WILL have the opportunity to be genuinely loved and respected.

You may notice that there is no fourth option wherein your husband confesses his everlasting love for you, sincerely promises to never cheat again, and the two of you live happily ever after.  A great many couples start down this dream-filled path but one or both of them fails to understand that same sex attractions are forever.  Even if your husband never cheats again HE WILL ALWAYS desire men.  And how that desire plays out in your marriage will directly affect you and your happiness.  The reality is that this fourth option is a subset of the second option.  Essentially you both back away from the brink of disaster (in the short run), but nothing is different in the long run.  Nothing *CAN* be different because the fundamental problem cannot be solved.  It can only be accepted, ignored or left behind.

You have three choices.  None of them are particularly good.  The best you can do is chose the course that is least-bad for you.

All that said, please keep posting.  The straight spouses here may be the only people you have access to who have walked in your shoes.  Only they can truly understand how you feel, and as such, they will support you in ways that no one else can.