Yeah I have noticed the roller coaster effect. I was totally bummed last night and woke up thinking about riding my motorcycle, made me happy for sure but I need to buy a new one and it's too damn cold! We are moving next month so I don't want to get involved with a group until I get moved. Hate to start something when I will be moved in a few weeks. I will send you a PM lostdad as I am in one place half of the year and another the other half of the year due to business. 

The bike has always been my best friend, just get out on the road and blow it out! My dog is also a huge stress reliever and a great listener! Going to counseling with my wife tomorrow and I am dropping the big "I'm done!". She told me the other night that women are just more "fluid" about these things! And that she expects us to stay together even if she is gay. She was just talking to me about what we will do for retirement. I believe she thinks that she is Bi and that it would be ok for her to have a relationship with a woman while staying with me. She said that our sex life is wonderful so obviously her being gay doesn't change anything with us YUK.  

Well we met with our councilor / Doctor yesterday and I brought up the Gay issue. My wife was not happy that I brought this up and said that it had nothing to do with our marriage problems. I disagreed and so did the doctor. He gave me a councilor to see for a few sessions  and some meds for anxiety. Her told my wife that this is a huge issue and not something that should be hidden from him. He wants to see her again next week and after she left the room he told me that she has a lot of serious issues and asked that I stay around for a while. She is upset about this whole thing and the effect on me but that just shows that she can't see what a big deal this is. Well I will take this day by day and I will keep coming back here for the wonderful support and the ability to chat with people that understand because you have all been there or are there now.  

"Lost myself in her"

​Wow that says it so well Rob, I truly did, even though she never treated me great I was lost in her. Life is getting a little better and I have to owe that to you guys and my dog. She, the dog not the wife, looked at me this morning and kind of shook her head, I was seriously down. She went and got her leash and demanded a walk, you don't argue with a pit-bull, it was a damn long one, you know "going home, oh no I guess not". It was just what I needed. Why do I even care about all of this, things actually look pretty good once I am on my own again. But she has this thing over me that I can't explain. This is not right I have invested 37 years in this relationship only to find out it was the biggest scam I've ever gotten caught in.THANKS GUYS!!!  

Good rant!!


If I were in her shoes...   I could stay with my husband and have my flings on the side and still have him take care of me financially and keep me insured and in my comfortable home.  I can keep deflecting the blame on him and have him work hard to keep me happy.  Or i could strike out on my own, have to come out of the closet, have to fend for myself..   I think I would try to stay with you too. 

I don't know anything about being gay because I'm just not.  But I honestly don't think there are many people who are heterosexual at a young age and turn gay later in life.  I think (and this is just me pontificating) that people find out how they are wired in their early teen years.. either gay or straight.. but then choose the life they think they want to live.  If they are too scared to come out as gay, they will pretend to be straight.. sometimes only for a few years, sometimes for an entire lifetime.  I just depends on how long they can keep in under wraps. 

I think your wife (like mine) has always been gay.  She just wasn't willing to admit it to herself or to others until now.