I'll be honest - it doesn't seem to get better.  I saw that my current husband was a great dad when I met him - spending every weekend, all weekend long with his daughter, doing stuff together - going out, having fun.  He came to every parent-teacher conference, every school concert, every little everything - alone.  Meaning that even when he wasn't on good terms with his ex's family, he still showed, sat by himself, saw his daughter afterward, made her aware that he was proud of her.  And I saw that he actively participated in parenting in other ways too - like running his daughter to appointments she might have, spending time with her half-way through the week, keeping her all the way until Monday morning and then running her back instead of doing so on Sunday night.  Some of this he did because he wanted to be with his daughter.  Some he did because he felt his daughter's mother deserved all the help she could get.  Some he did because he never saw that him leaving meant that he just got to visit with her - he still wanted to be there for her in any way that he could.  His daughter is 21 now, and still shows up at our house every-other-weekend and spends the weekends with him/us.  She frequently just swings by for dinner, or just to say hi.  (She's in community college and has a job, so while she's still in the area, she's still very busy).  They talk on the phone frequently and send each other texts.

There are things that his daughter has brought up that he could have done better.  He dated someone for a while who was just kind of ignored his daughter, and also used her as a babysitter for her own child.  His daughter told him that she didn't like the woman, and she was hurt and angry that he took that with a grain of salt.  I get her point, and yet I also know that one of my own kids didn't like my husband, and I wasn't going to stop dating him because of that.  That's my mentally ill son though - who dislikes everyone.  His main reason for wanting him gone was because he was a different race than I am.  I wasn't going to give that any weight - especially since their father wasn't the same race either (although a different race than my current husband), so to be a white elitest was crazy to me since my kids aren't even all white.  But I digress.  My point is that my husband wasn't a perfect father, but who is?

Then there's my ex.  He was always a good dad, but he always seemed somewhat detached.  He loved the kids when they were babies - always wanting to hold them as they fell asleep, sleeping with them on his chest.  He loved to buy them toys and see the delight in his eyes.  He didn't mind giving them baths or feeding them.  But mostly, he just liked watching TV and movies with them.  It's all he ever really enjoyed anyway.  As the years went by, my family (who lives just blocks away) would call and we'd make plans to do something - go to the local zoo, for instance.  When brought up, he'd say things like, "I've already been to the zoo this year."  It had NOTHING to do with YOU seeing the zoo, jackass - it's something that your young kids can do, and it's local and they love it.  (The zoo is literally a world-class zoo in our own town.  It's not like it has to be a whole day - we could have gone for 2 hours on our family pass).  Whenever we'd go out, it always seemed like a race to get back home.  As a divorced father, nothing's changed.  He didn't want to be separated from his kids, but he took to it like a duck to water.  He only spends the minimum with his kids - often picking them up hours late and dropping them off hours early.  He makes every excuse for why he can't have them this weekend.  He tells them things like, "You're old enough to decide if you don't want to come anymore" - as if it's nothing to him if they stop.  When there, they literally do nothing all weekend except watch movies and sometimes go to the mall (another of his favorite past times).  THEY make HIM dinner - and he's got a culinary degree.  They go clean.

My ex isn't a "bad" father, but he's not a great one.  But that's not different from the way it started out before the divorce.  He's more disconnected now.  He's with a gay man who's always been out, and has never married and has no children.  That means their lifestyle is such that kids are kind of in the way rather than being a joy.  They are tolerated.  So that rubs off on my ex.  I'm done trying to fight the system.  My kids are teenagers who yes - ARE old enough to tell me that they don't want to go there anymore.  And they've never made any such comments.  They have complained plenty about their dad - about how why doesn't he get a better job so he doesn't have to work so much?  (which is laughable - I work more than their dad, but I just don't talk about it all the time).  My ex is a trained chef who's been waitering at a Mexican restaurant for 4 years now.  This isn't supposed to be a job for a 45 year-old man to do endlessly.  They told me a few weeks ago that they asked him why he doesn't just get a different job and make more money, and his response was, "Because your mom would just want more money, then".  I get $600 a month for 3 kids.  It's not like I'm making out like a bandit here, and I NEVER mention child support to him.  So it's clear he will take every opportunity to bash me, even if I don't do the same.  I do listen to the kids, but I sometimes even defend their father (when I don't agree with the kids).  It's become apparent to me through some recent comments from them that he bashes me in front of them, and that they can't even say my current husband's name because my ex becomes enraged.  My daughter - who's 13 - has decided she's tired of walking on eggshells, and she'll mention his name any time she wants.  She recently (much to her father's dismay) began calling my current husband "Dad".  I never expected that.  But she says it's because she feels that he really is her dad - moreso than her real father.  I'm not going to stop her.

No, your STBX isn't likely to become a different kind of dad after divorce.  He may stay the same, or get worse.  Just my observation.  It seems to have more to do with whether or not the dad has any intention of being a great dad, or if he's just bumping along.

Kel
 

Well mine started as reluctant to be a parent as she always was but in time she came to be properly involved which is good, my youngest daughter's at an age where she needs her mother. Caviat? When a Narcissist becomes involved ,they decide they're the best and decide they're going to lecture you on how to do everything their way LOL

I'm sure he misses the little one as well. I know it's tough to watch but this is his relationship with the kids, they need to figure this out together. He might become a better parent after settling into his new life, he may just stay as he always was but if the little one misses him it looks like they have a connection.

I think the best you can do is stay positive with him in front of the kids, do it out of love.