Deconstruction of faith, could mean: finding an excuse to live out desires. This is not dealing or confronting with them of life, or... God. It's more about giving in. I can understand this, given the troublesome way christianity often deals with sexuality (certainly so in the USA). A christian should examine what is said in church, in culture, and be honest about it to themselves and to God,
It can be confronting what your faith realy is to you, what is it's priority actually? What about marriage, what about love, what about living in accordance to promises and your vows. What place has your spouse and family in all this? Isn't that about love too?
What do you think Christ, and what He did, is about? 
Is it pleasure, wealth, getting fulfilment of what you want?. Or could it be something else?
What would mean growing up to him? I hope that is much more than what he thinks it is.
Just thinking out loud.

Hello Gracefulwife, 
As Alex said, this is a very common experience for folks coming out later in life. Many folks coming out later in life experience something known as "Queer Grief," where they are sad about the experiences they didn't get to have if they had understood themselves earlier or felt they could come out sooner. This can mean different things for different people. Some folks are simply sad about not being able to be out sooner and be accepted, while others are sad about the relationships or sexual experiences they didn't get to have before beginning a committed relationship. For some, it is a fleeting feeling, and for others, that pain lingers, and they feel like they cannot do anything to rectify it. The important thing is that they understand that this is normal and common. Accepting it and finding healthy ways to celebrate their identity now often helps heal those wounds. 

Many also go through the second adolescence phase where they begin to explore all the parts of themselves they never felt they could before. Sometimes this is subtle, and sometimes it is exactly like dealing with a troublesome teenager who only cares about their own instant gratification. It can present differently for everyone. Some want to experiment with their appearance in various ways, like changing their hair or dressing differently. Some want to come out and be recognized by others, like wearing small pride jewelry or coming out to friends. Some want to explore desires they never felt safe expressing before, and that might just be between them and their partner, or it might be them being curious about being with others. Again, for some this is short-lived, and they just get a few things out of their system and decide it isn't for them. For others, it is about becoming who they always wanted to be, and changes might be permanent. 

Communicating through all of this is very important. They may not fully know what they want, or they don't at this point. They may not know if something is permanent until they experience it. That can make talking about things feel a little scary, but it is important to continue to move forward with love and curiosity. When my husband came out, I just wanted to know that this was not a journey AWAY from me. Everything else we could figure out together, so him keeping me informed and a part of everything helped me not feel like I was just sitting on the sidelines wondering where things would end up. Community is important during all of this as well; it is also important that you BOTH have positive community around you during this time. It really can make such a big difference. 

You are not alone. Please do not hesitate to reach out if either of you is in need of any other positive resources.