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Welcome to the OurPath (formerly Straight Spouse Network) Open Forum.
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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  •  » To the new poster in the Stories section, Barbara

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    June 16, 2026 4:33 pm  #1

    lily
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    To the new poster in the Stories section, Barbara

    It looks like you are looking for replies so I have brought your post over here where we can give them.


    "My husband came out as gay after 23 years of marriage. He wants to stay married but open our relationship. I love him and I want to make it work but I am scared. One day I am ok with it next day I am not. How long will it take to make up my mind. This decision is difficult for me because I am still attracted to him and I desire him. I asked him if we can keep any type of intimacy between us. First he said sex once a month was ok , now he told me that it is not ok. We were watching some adult gay movies together which I am ok with but it stopped too. I am scared an confused what will happen next, will he just leave me for a guy? Should I stay in this relationship or just let go and start healing. Anyone out there with similar situation?"

     

     

    June 16, 2026 4:53 pm  #2

    lily
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    Re: To the new poster in the Stories section, Barbara

    my thoughts are, well my immediate thought is his response of maybe once a month to no make that no sexual intimacy combined with open the door so I can be intimate with others is a total dealbreaker in itself.  A question worth asking yourself is why am I only finding out now how he feels about sex with me.

    looking back on my own marriage (I was 19) the most poignant thing is to remember how I wanted to be intimate with him but he didn't really feel the same way about me.  He kept hold of me, but not emotionally, he always kept me at arm's length.

    There was just this moment, I could feel it happening, he wanted me to do something for him but it was no more  - he'd used up all my love for him and I just stopped loving him.  why bother waiting for that, my advice is to trust your instincts and protect yourself from him now.

    Last edited by lily (June 16, 2026 4:53 pm)

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