Over the last year, my marriage has changed in ways I never imagined.My husband and I have been together for 9 years and have three children. About a year ago, he began sharing parts of himself that he was just discovering.. What started as conversations about wearing women's underwear eventually grew into disclosures about cross-dressing, identifying as bigender, and expressing a much more feminine side of himself.The changes did not come all at once. There were discoveries, partial truths, difficult conversations, and moments where I felt blindsided. At times I felt like I was learning new information before I had even processed the last revelation. Alongside this, I was also trying to make sense of previous trust issues in our marriage and the feeling that there had been a hidden part of his life that I didn't fully know.My husband describes finally being able to be himself after years of shame and suppression. I believe that his experience is real and that he has carried a lot of pain. At the same time, I have been carrying my own grief. I married a masculine man, and I have struggled with the reality that the person standing in front of me today feels different from the person I thought I was building a future with.Over the past year we have attended couples therapy and individual therapy. I have worked hard to be supportive, to listen, to learn, and to understand. I have gone to Pride events with him, encouraged him when he was feeling ashamed, and tried to create space for him to explore who he is. I genuinely love him and care about him.What has been hardest is realizing that support and compatibility are not necessarily the same thing.I often feel caught between compassion for what he is going through and honesty about what I am feeling. I don't want him to hate himself. I don't want him to feel rejected as a person. But I also find myself grieving the husband I thought I knew, questioning my attraction, and wondering whether our visions for marriage are still compatible.For a long time I focused on managing his emotions and protecting him from my own reactions. Therapy has helped me realize that constantly minimizing my feelings to keep the peace is not sustainable. I am learning that my feelings matter too.Right now I feel sad, confused, guilty, scared, and exhausted. Some days I feel hopeful. Other days I wonder if love alone is enough when fundamental compatibility feels uncertain.I joined this community because I am looking for people who understand this unique kind of grief and conflict. I am trying to figure out how to support someone I love while also being honest about my own needs, boundaries, and fears for the future.If anyone has walked a similar path, I would appreciate hearing your experience