We were married very young and both come from extremely conservative religious families. My husband's older brother is gay and has been out for decades, his family is accepting of him. Long story short, when my husband began hormone therapy a few years ago, he spiraled into anabolic steroid addiction, realized he was attracted to men, became aggressive, and physically abused me. That was rock bottom. Once we had contact again, I gave him another chance, we agreed to open up the marriage for the sake of our kids. It's not working. He is still verbally and emotionally abusive to me, blames me for the decline of the marriage, denies the abuse, and has lied to our extended family and friends about the true reason for the decline of our marriage. I ask him almost daily for a divorce, he does not want to move out and he threatens me with dating women to make me jealous, says I'm not enough for him, he's very over defensive about being bisexual, not gay. He will not come out to our friends and family, and has deteriorated the relationship between me and my family. Our children have no idea.I'm completely stuck. I do not have a support network due to his lies and reframing of me as mentally unstable. I am a free lance contractor with limited work that has been home raising our kids for 15 years. I'm concerned that if I out him, I will once again not be believed and risk him using his resources and power against me. I believe he is also hiding money. I am completely stuck and terrified. At what point do I come clean with our extended family just to get help?