Having finally moved from the family home I was left with decades of stuff.  I got rid of most of it but I still have one box with the wedding pics. I figure that proves that it happened.  My GX fled in hatred and really wanted to erase me and all the stuff.

Our big TV died a few months ago, I just kinda shrugged and thought... well, that's one less thing to split, but she took 2 others. The bigger being a 13 year old 42". Great! Upgrade time. 

Got all new bedding, finally cleaned a lot of her debris from around the bed (found 7 forks just stuffed under stuff) and slept square in the middle of the king size for the first time and it was pretty nice, I'd gotten used to sleeping on the edge for so long, maybe 18 to 24 inches worth of the bed max. Until the alarm went off and I had to army crawl back to the side to turn it off. Then I was gone all day and she had our son. When I got back she was sitting on my bed with our middle. If I find crumbs in it, I'm gonna be pretty pissed. I really need to get around to rekeying to the locks. 

"..really need to get around to rekeying to the locks."

While I never changed the locker just the thought of my GX in the home horrified me..She never came back in. But I did set the alarm every night out of fear.  Ive moved now and feel much safer.

The thought of them feeling entitled to walk into the family home when they dont live there seems wrong to me.   Like they wanted the home and the kids but not us...

It is the perfect time to set your boundaries on entry.   For example you can request she returns all her keys.  Even if you plan to change the locks the next day, this sets a clear boundary that she no longer lives there.   She hasn't provided you a key to her place.   It sounds like your children are old enough to have their own key if they need to run in to get something they forgot.   My LEX comes to my front door and knocks and doesnt come into my home unless I say so.  If my young kids need something while im gone she texts and opens the garage and the kids run in without her.  I have a garage door opener for her house for the same reason.

Well, aside from the financial cleanup and custody logistics, things are good right now. 

I've got the kids here for a majority of her days while she works, but evenings of her actually taking them for her full time is really hit and miss, some nights she doesn't get them til after 9, only for me to pick up by 6 the next morning, so it just feels pointless. While I'm still the one shuttling them around and making sure their fed. No surprise there.

Outside of that, Holidays went well, though she had them for both TG and Xmas days due to schedules, but I got to take them to my family's for each. 

So, the girl I mentioned back in September, Friend of a childhood friend that happened to show up at my gym... i waited till things were finalized, then introduced myself. Far too early, I know, but after years of knowing how things were going to end, I don't feel it's as big a leap as some would think. It just seemed like I was supposed to meet her. We've been spending a good bit of time together. Well, right before new years, I found my old wedding band while cleaning out the room, I thought I'd lost it traveling a few years ago. We decided we were going to go walk around a lake on New Years day, so I brought it along to dispose of it. As we were crossing a bridge, I took it out, about to chuck it as far as I could, but it slipped from my fingers, hit the decking, then slowly rolled off the edge with an unenthusiastic bloop into the water below. We just stood there watching it roll away. Was far more fitting than what I'd planned. 

Cleaning out the room yielded far more evidence than I'd previously known... showing things having transpired at least  a year and a half earlier than I'd known about, even before finding out about the books. There were journals and letters written to a gay podcast asking advice. She'd admitted dating women, and having known as long as she could remember. It was about how to tell her best friend from college, the one that convinced her to marry to help control her urges... Just showed I never had a chance to begin with. 

The room is clean, finally, but her stuff is still piled up by the door, she just doesnt' bother to grab it. 

Time at home is much more peaceful already. Meals at the table with the kids, baking for the fun of it, video games and hanging out. Just trying to figure out how to integrate a new relationship into home life peacefully. 

Finding a hetero Christian woman has been an eye opener of what I've missed for 20 years. I won't detail her situation, but 2 individuals that came out of lonely and unloving relationships, the simple appreciation for small things, and the times we can work into spending together is so special... but still being careful not to just rush into anything.