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- HeldHostageInHerCloset
- Member
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Re: Witchcraft, Novels, and more!!!
It's been about a month now since I filed and had her served.
So far it's gone remarkably well, weirdly casual.
She's job hunting, has had a number of interviews.
We're working thru finances, our joint/consolidated student loan is the biggest mess to unfurl. Trying to catch up on behind bills to start recovering credit scores.
She's been very reasonable in what she expects financially so far, I wonder how much of that is just knowing I know enough to shut some of that down. She's not asked for spousal support, just child support, which would be less than I've been paying for her car/gas bill alone. And even marital property, she's not worried too much about splitting things up or itemizing, just what's mine is mine, and hers is hers.
So, so far, if this continues in the same tone without major upsets, we could be done at the end of the 90 day waiting period and just go on our separate ways.
I discussed pursuing the infidelity claim further with my lawyer and saw no value in doing that as it would cost more than it would yield and just cause more contention.
Now I'm browsing home listings with this weird level of excitement that I don't get to share with a partner... "ooh, what do you think of this one?" sort of stuff. It makes it much more objective and frankly easier, but takes that fun out of it.
It dawned on me yesterday, how screwed up division of assets can be. At least when there is infidelity involved, you can go thru records and count what they've spent against them, but in an uncontested situation, then the homebody partner, regardless of how frugal, gets screwed vs the social one that's spent all their disposable income on eating out, going to bars, personal vacations, etc. The one partner could collect things, say comics, memorabilia, etc but hold to a strict budget, like $50 a month. But the other could be blowing 10x that per month on non-asset building activities, drinks, meals, hotels, etc. After 20 years, one has spent 12k on appreciating assets while the other could have blown $120k with nothing to show for it. but that 12k collection is what's on the table for division. Total BS.