Many will be doing some retail therapy this holiday season  (I think we all deserve it).  Still there is little I can buy to help me deal with the sadness and post dramatic stress inflicted by my horrible gay ex.

One thing I finally did was change her text sound on my phone to a calm beep I can hardly hear.  The effect was profound.  I can calmly answer text from my kids or family knowing it is them. 
Her text...well if I even hear them I can safely ignore them... while it may be about the kids she is not entitled to an immediate reply.  I no longer have to dread looking to see who the text is from..  her sound = no attention.  I read some later today and they were preposterous. .barking orders at me about the kids as if she had any claim on me ..   
I highly recommend this simply compassionate gift to oneself.  (Yeah I should have done this a long time ago but new small steps everyday).