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1 of 1- SARA
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married 21 years, husband lusting after transwoman on facebook
we are a reconciled marriage, back together for 3 years. married 21 years total. the first 17 years was a loveless sexless marriage, we both reconciled i believe out of fear of being alone.
the first 2 years of our reconciled marriage, i constantly asked for an open marriage, told him i wanted to experiment sexually with another female etc. i was extremely open sexually plus in my prime so i was down for just about anything. we were living the good life, partying, dancing, drinking, traveling with the kids, life was good but i always had a trust thing with him. (will he shut me out of his life like he always has in the past)
last year my mom died and i ended up with a DUI over a lot of grief i did not deal with. it ended my career, but my husband stepped up to the plate and helped mend my broken mind.
HE BECAME THE HUSBAND I NEVER GOT!!!
he said he liked seeing me vulnerable and dependent on him. this man NOW after all of our years together checked everyone of my boxes. i learned to trust him and love him. i finally felt like we were a loving couple.
on sunday 6/22 at 11:00 i got a notification about my husband posting on transwoman facebook pages. every day for about 3 days multiple times a day. the page was an AI transwoman, if he was hearted by another person he would go to the next trans page and comment on theirs.
he would write how beautiful they are, men were lucky to wake up next to them, he had a boner at the gym watching them, comfort zones, he'd call it a princess wand, etc.
i asked for his phone after a few days and found a saved reel of another transwoman with a male voice. he is lying about so much. he went in and deleted everything off of his phone but the saved video stating he doesn't know how to save anything.
he has noone to talk to, no friends, obviously wont talk to his family.
i reach out to the kids to give him support. this past week has been a roller coaster of emotions.
i'm so lost because him & i were so tight and so solid. sex was amazing, emotional support was amazing.
any thoughts on this new world before i finally call it quits on my roller coaster of a marriage, i do feel like he is confused or could this just be a bi-curious thing??
i know nothing about any of this world and he has always been a transphobe
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: married 21 years, husband lusting after transwoman on facebook
SARA wrote:
. ..
Welcome to our Forum Sara ☺️
Apart from this mighty big red flag "..he said he liked seeing me vulnerable and dependent on him." you have so much going on in your r'ship, on both sides ....yours and his...that one of you is going to have to be the one making life decisions that ultimately affect you both.
I hope it's you, and that you won't be vulnerable and dependent but strong and determined. To live your own life, not his.
Elle
KIA KAHA
- SARA
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Re: married 21 years, husband lusting after transwoman on facebook
i actually was calm enough to talk to him. i told him that we need to part ways officially because i think we have a "comfort bond" and thats why we reconciled.
i want him out of my life for good but still feel this weakness like i would a baby. i have always felt like his mother instead of his spouse up until my DUI. he stepped up to the plate and we finally felt like a couple.
all my feelings for him are gone, he betrayed my trust and he will never get it back.
he's begging to let him stay in the house and agreed to an open marriage.
i need this nightmare to end with him.
he needs to get himself some help and move on himself with whatever his sexuality is.
i'm left heartbroken and confused as well but this emotional rollercoaster i have with him needs to be over once and for all
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Thread Starter- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: married 21 years, husband lusting after transwoman on facebook
i actually was calm enough to talk to him. i told him that we need to part ways officially because i think we have a "comfort bond" and thats why we reconciled.
i want him out of my life for good but still feel this weakness like i would a baby. i have always felt like his mother instead of his spouse up until my DUI. he stepped up to the plate and we finally felt like a couple.
all my feelings for him are gone, he betrayed my trust and he will never get it back.
he's begging to let him stay in the house and agreed to an open marriage.
i need this nightmare to end with him.
he needs to get himself some help and move on himself with whatever his sexuality is.
i'm left heartbroken and confused as well but this emotional rollercoaster i have with him needs to be over once and for all
I think he "stepped up to the plate" because he knew he was going to lose you.
Kia kaha (means stay strong in Te Reo) ....keep your head up, looking forward xx
Transwomen are men.
Elle
KIA KAHA