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This is probably a stretch, but has anyone's spouse found success with any form of therapy, medication, changes to their life, etc. to help their gender dysphoria? Basically, I'm looking for any alternatives to present to my husband that isn't transitioning. I recognize that our relationship is likely not sustainable, but I'm desperate for even a temporary fix so that we don't have to separate with 3 little ones and I don't have to live with him through the transition for the sake of the welfare of my kids.
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Your children's welfare will suffer if you don't put clear, firm boundaries in place. Legal boundaries. With legal consequences.
I understand your wish to keep your family together for the sake of little ones but do it on your terms. Stand up for yourself and the children, and do it before their father takes over your lives.
Go get some advice. Either from a lawyer or a women's support network that gives out specific advice for women whose partners are trans.
Hugs from Elle