lily wrote:

Hi Final,

Have you ever done any gardening?  I like to garden, and I am also a 'muddy' - I make pots and sculptures out of clay and now I am making them out of the clay dug up in my own garden - all I need to do is pull out the pebbles,

So there I am just after discovery and I wander out into the garden that I lived in then, I started weeding under an avocado tree and as my hands got into the soil it brought such comfort, the feel of the earth, it was like it was talking to me and saying it's okay I can tell you everything you need.

So that's my version of being grounded.  It makes me believe even if you live in the city you could grow a few herbs and flowers on a window sill and gain that same comfort I got.

I will keep encouraging you to talk to other people in your life, it's a great start to talk here but it makes such a difference in terms of getting free of the closet you were put in to talk with someone on the ground, even a stranger at the bus stop is good.  

quote from OOHC to another poster -  "Living in someone else's closet is a recipe for isolation and psychological damage".   

Spill the beans, as it were to someone.

 

I haven't no, it is kinda hard, because I live in an apartment, but I could definitely try it on a windowsill or something, thank you for the suggestion. I do have to open up more about this, so I can see how I am in a way in the closet myself because I am "protecting" her.

Hi people, I wanted to leave an update, I literally just saw my ex-gf right now, because I had to give her some things. It has been exactly 1 month and 1 week since the breakup. She seemed completely fine and unbothered, while I was dying on the inside, so yeah, I'm trying to not feel like I don't mean anything, but ouch that hurt. I am fairing better than I thought though, but yeah, even though I decided to give up on Sunday, it still stung. I'll be alright, I can't give this person more of my energy.

Yes Final you're doing great.  I think the thing is she wants you to feel hurt and discarded - maybe she thinks that will make her feel better - cruel though.  You deserve better.

wishing you all the best.  something nice will happen soon.

lily wrote:

Yes Final you're doing great.  I think the thing is she wants you to feel hurt and discarded - maybe she thinks that will make her feel better - cruel though.  You deserve better.

wishing you all the best.  something nice will happen soon.

Thank you lily, here is hoping good things happen moving forward.

MarieSmith wrote:

wow, that's a lot for a month out - thinking of you and hoping for the good things moving forward for you.  Keep us posted -

Thank you marie, will do, all of you have been so kinda and have helped me so much, you have no idea, thank you.