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1 of 1- Jupiter1
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New Years Eve
Reaching out to wish everyone well at the start of the new year.
I’m listening to some melancholy songs (Barry Manilow: it’s just another New Year’s Eve), reading a book and thinking I’m pretty much better off than one year ago when my stbx were in our very last days living together and unhappy. Trying to not romanticize the past and to stay focused and hopeful.
How are you all doing?
- Anon2222
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Re: New Years Eve
I've been better. But surviving.
I am sitting in the dark, by myself, contemplating life. I could go out and do things now. Anything I want technically. But I just feel empty. I have done therapy for the last 3 years. I have followed all the steps. I take medication. I even did rTMS. And yet....I am hollow. I just don't care about anything anymore. I don't even know how to describe it. I wish I could fix it. But it's like I've lost the will to be alive and I'm just going through the motions.
I hope others are having an easier time. May 2025 be better than 2024.
- OutofHisCloset
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Re: New Years Eve
After having the incredible and wondrous experience of watching over 500 geese fly overhead this past weekend, which made me smile so hard I thought my face would break, and after the very great pleasure of the most amazing and gorgeous amaryllis blooms for Christmas this year that I have ever had, I decided that for 2025 I want to seek out the things that I know bring me joy.
Anon, sending my concerns and thoughts. I'm sorry you're in this dark space, and I hope a little light comes in for you soon.
- Jupiter1
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Re: New Years Eve
Anon,
I’m sorry to hear you’re in a low and empty place. I am frequently in a place that feels like that too. I think it’s a long time line of recovery for many of us and certainly not a linear path. I hope with the passing of the holidays and the restarting of normal routines you feel some better🙏
OOHC cheers to the thrill of geese over head. Wishing you and everyone here moments of awe in the year ahead.
- •
Thread Starter- MarieSmith
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Re: New Years Eve
OOHC, Jupiter, and Anon222 -
A happy new year to you all... as is my usual feeling when logging on here - I wish I could convey more with words to you all a heartfelt hug, and to meet for coffee in person. Anon feel free to private message me, I'm forgetting geographically (if you ever mentioned it) where you are, if we are close I can be a shoulder in person. That empty feeling seems to be a common thread in this #$@#! experience, I'm sorry.
- "Marie"
- Deleted
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Re: New Years Eve
I wanted to reach out and say even if we haven’t met I was thinking about you over Christmas and New Year. This is something I wrote Christmas morning. There’s a nothingness this morning. Not a stillness. I go downstairs to make tea and sit on the steps while I wait for the kettle to boil. I can see out the front door and am watching the lights on someone else’s Christmas tree. I think this is the first year in my life of not having a tree. I just have nothing left and I am not willing to pretend. Maybe this is honesty and what may be a form of acceptance.
Here is a beautiful quote I didn’t write
When something is for you, it will bring clarity and alignment to your life, not chaos and confusion.
When something is for you, it will not run or hide or avoid being yours. You do not have to chase after anything or anyone.
When something is for you, you won’t feel the need to beg, convince or force. Things will feel easeful, grounded and safe.
When something is for you, it will not make you question or second guess your worth. Instead it will remind you how worthy and truly loved you are.
When something is for you, it will feel healthy and supportive, not toxic and destructive.
When something is for you, you’ll know it,
Stop ignoring the signs, release what needs to be released so that you can receive what needs to be received.
Love and light
C
Last edited by Deleted (January 2, 2025 10:48 am)
- Anon 765
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Re: New Years Eve
Happy New Year to everyone - I hope it is a new year that brings a large measure of peace and brightness. This year, I want to let go of trying to make sense of all of this, and embrace the growing realization that this had absolutely nothing to do with me. It's likely not something I'll ever fully understand, and I'm getting worn from trying to figure it out. Time to put the focus on me and my new life and have compassion for the grief and anger when they arise, but not dwell.
Anon 765
- Lostandconfused1234
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Online!
Re: New Years Eve
Happy New Year to everyone, and I just want to say thank you to everyone who responds on here. It's good to have perspective. Here's to a hope-filled 2025
- Rob
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Re: New Years Eve
Just checking in... Happy New Year!
Up vote on Deleted's posting. When someone/something is for you.. My take on it is rather simplistic... you are either for me or against me. Or from Lord of the Rings.. one cannot be both tyrant and counselor.
Looking back I dont know when my GX decided she against me but it was subtle and long before she decided to start a gay affair...
My quote this year is from both the original Gladiator movie and then said again in the new Gladiator2 ;
"What you do in this life echoes in eternity"
Wishing everyone a blessed 2025, may your actions this year echo on and on.
Last edited by Rob (January 3, 2025 2:46 pm)
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7