Hey everyone! My husband (21) and myself (22) are both military, which is how we met. Im no longer in but he is and upon me exiting service we decided to get married so that I wouldnt have to move back home. Im actually starting to feel thats the only reason other than me being a coverstory.

About 4 months ago he was playing the game and I was upstairs. When I came down his headset was on so he couldnt hear me and I decided to sit on the couch and wait. I had to move his phone and I got a glance of a reddit post. I cant recall everything but it was a man complaining about his wife. I was interested because men in those groups usually tend to ruin your life later lol. I read the post and didnt see any issues but as I kept looking I started to see different reddit groups such as r/gayporn r/grindr r/quitgrindr and about 2 more scrolls worth of stuff maybe over 20 groups. I looked for about 5 seconds when he turned his head and snatched his phone. I asked what was that he brushed it off and I said okay and went back upstairs. I truly didnt know how to feel.

Later that day he asks to talk to me and told me he would delete everything and that he was sexually assaulted as a kid and since then he hasnt been the same but I call bs. The story sounds made up truly but as someone who has dealt with similar I didnt want to be quick to judge. Truthfully though it sounded like a complete lie. I just said okay sorry he went through that and he gave me a big hug and said it felt good to get that off his chest.

Not long after I caught him again. We were already in an argument and when I woke up in middle of the night I happen to see a reddit notification. I confront him after he got home from work. ( even though I feel betrayed I wouldve hate to make him go to work with all that on his brain. ) We were having two arguments in one but the gay argument lead to him having a complete breakdown. shaking and I couldnt console him. All he wanted to do was call his mom but I told him he would have to calm down before I give him the phone to talk to her. ( no mom would be okay hearing her son in such distress ). He spoke to his mom and the house was pretty silent and so we started talking again. I asked him has he ever been with any many he said no. I asked if he was gay? no. Bi? a laugh then a no and how could I think that. he then volunteers again to delete everything. I said okay.

Fast forward I decided to see if he did delete everything about 2 days later and while he deleted text messages he didnt delete recently delete messages so I was able to see that he had infact been with a guy that gave him head regularly.  This was Mar 2022 to about Nov 22 He would constantly text first and sometimes triple or double text them if he didnt gat a response in a few days. The first time they met was at a hotel then everything after that seem to be in the guys truck and my husband askin for head. The guy would sometimes respond he wasnt in the mood to give head too long tonight only 30 mins????? and some of their last messages my husband stated he wanted to " beat his guts down when he came back from leave" which the guy told him to have sex with someone in his hometown and that he was not willing to have sex. My husband laughed it off and then double texted him. 

I havent been able to find anything else but things such as his safari always being in private mode and once unlocked doesnt have even one tab open. Usually after he has just jacked off. We are pretty open about things like that but in the back of my head I know. Last week he came out the shower and his hole looked so swollen and red. I was like what happened and I was actually concerned he laughed and said thats just how his penis looks when hard. We been having sex for over two years and when I saw it he was at the end of the bed and I at the top. I went deep diving and I guess some men like to stick things in there. They make things just to go in there like buttplugs. Its entire reddit groups dedicated to how to do it best ways on how to start out etc I have no proof he did this but I have my gut.

Ive tried to bring this up once and he said he didnt want to talk about it yet. We agreed he would come to me. Its been about 2 months since I tried to bring this up and he still hasnt said anything. Im at the point now where I dont want to have sex I get turned off now. I dont know if its the lies thats making me know even if I decided to stay with him I couldnt trust him or what.

Ive spoken very low of him throughout this post and I would like to say hes a great person other wise. I just feel betrayed and honestly like a cover story. Even some family memebers said infront of me they thought he was gay. Im the first girlfriend turned wife. I truly feel like I fuckeddddd up.