hey everyone. Yes, I have had so many issues. I met my ex wife in 1999. Within 6 months, I had my first anxiety attack. Over the next 23 years, my condition got worse, I needed xanax to cope and at the risk of being too graphic, in the last 4-5 years it was rare to have a solid stool. My stomach was destroyed. I found out most of what had been happening in 2022. By the end of 2022, I blocked her on every social media channel, and went no contact. (low because we have kids) Within 3 weeks, I was able to go off xanax completely. Within 6 months, no more stomach issues. In less than a year, I could tolerate dairy food again. (had no been able to eat it ion over 20 years)

So yeah, she was the source of the anxiety. I ignored red flags and obvious signs. I paid a heavy price. The good news is, my health has nearly completely recovered. My life is full, I am a better father, friend, son and boyfriend to my new girlfriend (now 1.5 years in). The work started with me, learning to live in the present, and not the past of future, I eliminated almost all stress. I lost 53% of everything I earned, but I have never been happier. IT does get better, but you have to care for you, learn what you need to learn from all of this and forgive/begin to trust yourself again. 

Easier said than done, but you can do it! I still have some nueromuscular issues that lingered from the years of lies, gaslighting and poor treatment, but all in, life is good.

I'm still struggling with it.  

Hi Jupiter1,

I would like to have a few friends in person (or on video) or a support group who have been through the same thing. Last time I checked, there wasn't an Our Path group in my city, but this is a good reminder to check again.

People get the divorce part, but not the sexuality part. They're either too curious, or too "Yay, he's living authentically!". And I haven't found a divorce support group that isn't religious - nothing against that, it's just not for me.

That said, as time goes on, and with understanding friends and good therapy, I honestly feel less and less like I care about telling "the whole story". At first, however, I wanted to shout it from rooftops and publish it on the front page of the news! I guess this is a sign of healing - it takes up less place in my head, and I do feel heard and seen. Maybe not by him, but by enough people that I believe my feelings are right and justified. I definitely appreciate the patient support of my few close friends who did a LOT of listening in the early months!

Anon 765

 

Hi Eleanor,

I am trying to find out if there are Zoom meetings. I was in contact with a volunteer a while back for personal support, and I asked her if there's a local group in my area, or any online opportunities. When I hear back, I'll let you know.

Anon 765