These guys have to work really hard to keep us in the dark.  It's a full time job, 24/7.  And remember, "projection" works both ways.  My husband seemed never to trust women, ever, and I forced myself to work extra hard to prove to him that I was trustworthy.  It turns out he was projecting his dishonesty on to me.  By the same logic, I assumed he was honest, ethical and trustworthy because that's what I was.  

These guys know exactly who to victimize.  They look for those of us who are good and decent people, knowing we will project our own decency on them.  

Sometimes, men fall in love with a woman and marry her, even though they are not sexually compatible. I have met many such men and always asked the same question: why? The answer? "She is my best friend and I love her in every other way." Given that I was not emotionally invested in those situations, I was a neutral third party, I'd say they were telling the truth. It meant that they had chosen to make certain sacrifices in their life, just so they could be with the woman they loved. But occasionally, it got too much and then they would seek out casual sex to fulfil their fantasies briefly. 

That is different to a situation with a gay man, who has the capacity to fall in love with another man, right? Because that's what it all comes down to, at the end of the day. Whom does one want to spend their life with? Next to which person do they feel they can be their most authentic self? I feel sorry for the men who are gay, but lack the courage to tell their spouses, and end up living a lie. Not only do they hurt the person they claim to love, they also hurt themselves, denying themselves a chance for a happy life. But again, each person must weigh up what's most important to them, which needs they need fulfilled absolutely, and which needs are transient. Only then can they decide who is the right person to provide them those needs. 

Ellexoh_nz
I put myself through law school by providing sexual services and Domme services to men and women, a legal profession in Australia, where I reside. It was quite confronting and challenging at first, but I needed the money and I had a very high sex drive, so I persevered. I eventually came to see past people's physical attributes and I began to make emotional connections very rapidly. Being slightly different myself, it was easy for me to empathise with men that were struggling sexually. Indeed, I understood them perfectly, I would say. I did not necessarily agree with what they were doing, since I am not a cheater and never will be... and I certainly didn't pull back any punches, when talking to them - I even persuaded some of them to change what they were doing, and some of my bookings ended up with no sex, because they decided not to go ahead. All because I said, you shouldn't cheat on your wife. At that time, I was also in a relationship with a male gigolo, who gave me his side of the story, sleeping with married women. If I wrote a book about this, I am sure a lot of people would be horrified and a lot would judge me, but the truth is, people have needs. It is as simple as that. And quite often, those needs cannot be met by just one person. Especially when it comes to sex.

Now, some might say sex isn't the most important thing in the world, but if that were the case, we wouldn't mind sharing our partners with others. No matter how much or how little someone needs sex, they need it, period. It is not a hobby or an activity one can decide not to engage in, without some serious consequences usually. We are social animals and we need physical intimacy to feel loved, accepted, and happy. We can literally die from lack of love, so it is a serious, life and death question that people face on a daily basis, and that makes many people desperate enough to do horrible things to themselves and to others. That is why it is a question that must be aired, not left to fester, within ourselves and with our partners. 

I apologise if my reply has shocked or upset anyone, as that is not my intention.

Last edited by dd (April 26, 2024 7:01 pm)